


A pending divorce

by KeyHey



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bellamy Blake & Lexa Friendship, Clarke Raven Octavia Bellamy are siblings, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Divorce, Eventual Smut, F/F, Heartache, Heartbreak, Jealous Lexa, Jealousy, Marriage, Past Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Past Relationship(s), Secret Marriage, Secret Relationship, True Love, Trust Issues, past marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-18 04:27:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10609269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeyHey/pseuds/KeyHey
Summary: For eight long years, Clarke Griffin had believed that her youthful marriage to Lexa Woods had been annulled. But her wife never signed the annulment papers, so she was still tied to the woman she hated so much ... and at the same time, she secretly loved her.Clarke demanded that Lexa let her free once and for all ... But would Clarke really dare to turn away from Lexa when the time came to face her?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my second story... The first is http://archiveofourown.org/works/10067648/chapters/22434383
> 
> I'll try and update regulary.

Alexandria Woods made a empire because she was always one step in front of her competition and two steps in front of her past. She was rich now and she knew of the time when she was poor... Money wasn’t important in her life like it was earlier... Expensive cars, the designer things, the airplane of the company was just things for her. Means for optaing an end. The thing that made my adrenaline rise was winning. That moment when the opponent realizes that he’s lost. I always thought that business is just a game… The shares, the investment and transaction are just moves in the game we’re playing.  
The way that she looked was saying that she was a powerful woman. She was tall and slender; she had brown hair and an athletic body. Her hard, pronounced face had the ability to intimidate even the most forceful opponent with her sharp green gaze, or to dazzle with the slightest outline of a smile from her mouth. Some people can think that she is cold and calculated, but that doesn’t matter to her. As long as she gets what she wants, the opinion of the others is not important.  
Then, the plane started landing and the stewardess came to her sit and said. – We’re going to land in ten minutes, Miss Woods. – Nina, the stewardess was pretty. She had attractive red-haired girl with dimples in her cheeks and a smile of a supermodel. Lexa hired her to impress all the business partners that she worked with.  
In the last couple years, Lexa traveled more frequently and no matter how hard that was, she had to because her companies in Chicago, New York, Dallas and in Australia needed her attention. At her 29 years, she had enough of working twelve hours a day, seven days of a week. Lately, she was only on some meeting, or on her plane traveling to a meeting. Lexa dedicated her life to her company and she made a fortune. When she was younger, she enjoyed the challenge… But, now she wanted something more… She wanted to take a step forward, or maybe better said is she wanted to take a couple of steps back, to go back to her roots…  
Lexa grew up in east Texas, on a farm. There her family had a ranch. Her father, Titus Woods, was a man from the city. He was educated and had a lot of connections, but he had no money. But, then he met my mother, Nia Azgeda. She was rich and her father was one of the most famous people in Texas, but she didn’t have any business connections… Their marriage was union made by total coincidence. Her father enjoyed the money and the power that he gained with this marriage, but he hated the life on the ranch. He hated the isolation and the hard physical work… He always thought that that ranch was beneath him…  
He then realized that Nina, the stewardess, was still standing beside her and asked her something… Lexa raised her head and listened to her. She was asking Lexa if she wants more coffee.  
\- No, thanks.  
\- Do you want then that the pilot calls your driver, so he can wait for you when we land? – She leaned on to take an empty cup.  
\- That’s not necessary… My friend will pick me up when we land. – She noticed the way Nina leaned over her, touching her arm in the process.  
\- Can I help you with something more, Miss Woods?  
I shook my head, saying that I don’t need anything more and then she went away to prepare for landing. She was sure that Nina could do a lot for a woman, but Lexa was only interested in only one women and that wasn’t her.  
The women that Lexa had on her mind had a blonde hair, blue eyes that reminded her of a clear summer day and legs that drove her crazy. She still could remember how those legs felt around her waist.  
But, that wasn’t the time to remember her or how those legs walked away from her, leaving her alone. That happened eight years ago. Lexa believed that she was in love. Worst even, Lexa at time believed that she loves her. That was a mistake that she couldn’t make again.  
The wheels of the plane touched the ground of a private airport and the plane stopped few moments later. I looked out the window and I saw the autumn colored woods outside. She was born in those woods; she played in those woods and built houses on those trees when she was a girl. She broke her hand when she jumped from a rock in those woods when she was fourteen. She still had a scar on her left hand that made her remember that day. Lexa looked the woods and thought about others experiences that she had there. Some of those experiences were sexual and very intense. Lexa also knew that the person she had those experiences would not be happy to see that Lexa is back. But, after eight years, Lexa didn’t care about that.

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October was always favorite month of Clarke Griffin. The time when the hot summer days ended and the colors of the autumn showed up and the colder nights asked for some company. In that moment, what she loved the most was that convertible car that she was driving through the colorful woods. The road was in front of her, Adele singing from her stereo and the wind in her face and hair. She thought how life is fantastic. She made a fast turn on the road and she had to hold the steering wheel tight as the car skidded sideways. Smiling, Clarke squeezed the sole of his Jimmy Choo high-heeled shoe into the accelerator, causing the car's rear wheels to spit dust and gravel as he took the familiar dirt road that led to her home. The road had bumps, but the sport car ran like a dream. She thought that she maybe has to buy one of those when she goes home, but living in New York made that unnecessary because she wouldn’t have many chances to drive. But, the simple fact that she could be as frivolers as she wants made her smile. She inherited millions of her grandfather and now she could do what she wants. Her life of living from paycheck to paycheck is over and now she had enough money to buy something like this lovely car. She already bought her apartment on the West side and it was nearly perfect. Clarke had only to furnish it.  
But, she was home in Texas now and she parked her car next to the stables. Clarke turned off the stereo and the lights, and then she got out of the car. She wasn’t home for two years, but nothing has changed too much. But, that wasn’t anything new… Nothing changes on the ranch, never has. The same house she grow up in was in front of her. Clarke inhaled its smell and she enjoyed the peaceful moment that was all around her. She had so memories there, some of those memories comforted her and the other she wanted to forget.  
Everyone was asleep in this moment of the night. Her brother and sisters weren’t expecting her till tomorrow and she couldn’t wait for the surprise she is going to give them in the morning. She took her bag from the trunk and entered the house. After nine years of living in New York she forgot how dark can be a night without a moon. She walked on the wooden floor and her heels made noise, so Clarke removed them and walked on her toes through the house. That remained her on her teenage days when she would sneak out or sneak in the house and hoped that she wouldn’t wake up her brother Bellamy. But, he always heard her and the argument that followed raised the whole house. She always wanted of Bellamy to stop treating her like a child and he always answered that she needed to stop behaving like one first. Bellamy always behaved like her father and he always won. He was the men of the house and he took charge of everything when our father left us. At that time, our mother, Abby, barely got out of the bed and she couldn’t run the ranch, so Bellamy took over everything and tried to fulfill the roll of the father to me and my sisters Octavia and Raven. He didn’t complain once. Clarke knew that there were things that she could’ve done different for his brother when she was younger, but the past is the past and regret is the most useless emotion. She had her scholarships and a few of her temporary jobs and that got her to college. Since then she graduated in fashion and all that things in her life made her grow up early. Now, she had her dream job as an editor of a magazine, an amazing man that she started dating recently and she had a lot of money also.  
Her sisters, Octavia and Raven, were in love with great guys and engaged. Clarke was there because of Octavia’s wedding and Raven’s wedding will take place soon after. They all wanted to spend some days on the ranch, reminiscing of the old days and reconnect, before they go on with their lives and their new husbands. From now on, everything will change and that left a bitter taste in my mouth, but change is good, right?  
Her toe hit the end of the door and Clarke swallowed a curse. She waited for a moment for the pain to pass and then she climbed the stairs and went to the guest room. But, the bed was full of boxes, some of them marked with Octavia’s name and some with Raven’s name. Clarke realized that she couldn’t sleep there and then she went to her sister’s bedroom. There she took off her clothes, and left only her nightgown. It was dark and she didn’t want to turn on the light, so she just went to the bed and slipped under cold sheets, beside her sister that was breathing slowly and evenly. Clarke turned on her side and her sister didn’t even move. While they were kids, Octavia and she always shared the bedroom and we spent so many nights awake, talking about everything. The theme was always different… Sometimes they talked about boys and girls, sometime there were problems with school, or they simply complained about Bellamy and his fatherly role. They always agreed that he was a little too much bossy. But, thinking of that, made Clarke think of the girl in question that she and her sister were talking about. Thinking of that only made her pain, so Clarke cleared her mind of her and tried to sleep.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a girl in her bed. Lexa blinked a few times to make sure that she’s not dreaming and then she rubbed her eyes. But, it wasn’t a dream and there was a women sleeping with her in the bed. She had her back to her and she hugged her pillow. Lexa leaned on her elbow and with the sunrise light she looked at the figure that slept beside her. The tips of thick blonde hair touched her neck and a lace trim of a red nightgown peeped beneath of the edge of the covers. Lexa then pulled the covers a little and looked below. She saw that the girl had red panties and she suddenly felt a rush of color. She had a tattoo too on her hip. But, then suddenly her companion turned and Lexa got a better view. Lexa noticed that Clarke shortened her blonde hair and now had this shorter, scruffy style that made her look gorgeous. She looked the same and her lips were still inviting like always.  
She then sighed softly and moved her hand to her face. Clarke curled her long fingers toward her palm and her nails were neatly trimmed. Lexa remembered the feeling of those fingers in her skin and her pulse accelerated. Lexa always consider her to be a gentlewoman and she thought of getting out of the bed, or at least put some pants on… She could always get out of the room and spare Clarke embarrassment of waking up and finding herself in this bed. She probably thought that when she went to bed last night, that she lied beside her sister and now this would be such a surprise for her. But, Lexa didn’t feel so chivalrous at the moment and she rested her head on her palm and watched her. This will be so much funnier than getting out of the bed silently.  
Clarke smelt as good as she looked. It was like a breeze on summer night and Lexa inhaled her smell and let her eyes drift over her neck to her chest. Her pulse just accelerated more. Then she slid her finger along her cheek and whispered her name.  
\- Clarke… - She didn’t react and Lexa decided to be bolder so her fingers continued down her to her neck and to the collarbone… Her skin was warm to the touch. – Clarke… - Lexa said louder, but, still nothing… So, she ran the tip of her finger over her breast and watched how her nipple hardened beneath the nightgown. Clarke was temptation and Lexa wanted nothing more than to exchange her finger for her mouth and enjoy the taste. She could do that, but then Clarke’s eyelashes moved. Clarke moved and stretched her hands over her head; also she took a deep breath and let out a sigh. Her eyelids opened and sleepy blue eyes met green ones…  
\- Good morning… - Lexa said.  
\- Good morning. – Clarke smiled and closed her eyes again.  
Lexa waited few moments and then Clarke’s eyes widened and focused. She yelled and at the same time she moved away from Lexa. Her legs tangled in the covers and she fell on the edge of the mattress and then to the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

\- Please, please, please let this be a nightmare… - Clarke thought with her eyes closed. – Let me please wake up in the bed with my sister… - But, then she felt the coldness of the floor on her but and the pain from when she hit the floor and that made her realize that she was indeed awake. She opened her eyes and groaned as she saw Lexa watching her from the bed, with a smirk on her face. Clarke was suddenly overwhelmed by this feeling that she needs to run, but she couldn’t because her legs were still trapped in the sheet, so she couldn’t. She also realized that movement would probably leave Lexa without any covers.  
\- Was it something that I said? – Lexa asked, raising her eyebrow. Clarke saw that her eyes were tracing her body and that her green eyes currently fell on her breast, so she grabbed a pillow from the bed and pressed it against her.   
\- What are you doing here? – Clarke asked.  
\- Sleep. – Lexa ran her hand through her hair. – At least, I did until your snoring woke me up… I think that you should see a doctor for that…  
\- I don’t… - Clarke stopped and frowned. She could so easily irritate her. – You know what I meant… What are you doing in Octavia’s bed?  
\- Come back in here with me… - Lexa patted the bed. – And, I’ll tell you…  
\- I’m not doing that… - Clarke tried not to shout, she looked over to the clock on the nightstand and it was five-thirty. She knew very soon everyone will get up and although Clarke was an adult woman and nothing happened in that bedroom, if Bellamy would came in here and see us like this, he would think the worst.  
\- Well whatever… - Lexa sighed and shook her head. – Then, I’ll come there with you… - As she approached the edge of the mattress, Clarke ran out of air and he grabbed one of her high hells shoes and threaten Lexa.  
\- Lexa Woods, don’t you dare…  
\- You used to say that when you wanted me to kiss you. – Lexa said and Clarke opened her mouth to deny that, but she couldn’t and the frustration made her throw the shoe to Lexa’s head. Unfortunately, Lexa avoided the shoe and then the shoe flew over the bed and hit a wall. That was stupid, Clarke thought as she bitted her lip. Clarke held her breath and listened for a few seconds if someone heard that noise. When she heard nothing, she released air slowly.  
\- Damn it, Lexa…- Clarke whispered fiercely. – What are you doing here?  
\- Bellamy invited me…  
\- We had a deal that you wouldn’t come to the ranch when I’m here… - Suddenly, there was noise of water in the pipes and Clarke froze. Somebody was up and it was probably Bellamy.  
\- We never agreed on anything, sweetheart... – Lexa said. – I remember that was the reason you walked out on me and left me behind. Clarke didn’t want to take her bite and start an argument.  
\- I didn’t walk sweetheart. – Clarke said lifting her chin. – I ran away.  
Lexa grimaced and rubbed her chest. - Touché, Clarke. – But, the satisfaction of hurting Lexa was short-lived from the moment that my eyes followed the path of her hand. It was impossible not to notice her torso in a skimpy tank top. Also, it was impossible not to remember how her skin felt beneath my fingers. Instinctively, Lexa moved back and the covers slid further down, below her waist reveling the edge of her lace boxers. Clarke’s pulse struck and she looked up.  
\- Are you in my sister’s bed, naked?  
\- Jealous? – Clarke barely held back the urge to stand up and kill her, but that would make too much noise and she didn’t want for Bellamy to hear them.  
\- Lexa, please…  
\- You were always too nervous. – Lexa said, shaking her head. – But, if that makes you feel better, your sister isn’t even here. None of them are… You’re the only women in the house.  
\- What do you mean, my sisters are not here? – Clarke brushed a loose strand of hair from her eyes with a snort. – Where are they?  
\- I don’t know exactly… - Lexa yawned and scratched her neck. – But, Bellamy said that they are going to remain one more day in Houston, to do some shopping, since you wouldn’t arrive until today.   
They were shopping without me… Something irritated me about that… Clarke thought that they should’ve called at least. But, then she heard footsteps in the hallway and she realized that she may be facing worse problems at the moment. Footsteps stopped at the bedroom door and Clarke imagined Bellamy coming in, seeing her sitting on the ground, half naked and Lexa in the bed half naked also… Afraid to move, to breathe even, she stared at the doorknob, waiting to for her to turn. But, then the boots stepped away and she heard the creaking of the stairs. Clarke felt an incredible relief…  
\- Just like the old days… - Lexa said.  
\- No… It’s nothing like that… - Clarke opened her eyes and gritted her teeth. – I’m not nineteen years old and I’m not so impulsive or impressionable when I see a pretty face… Now, I’m looking for a little more depth in a relationship, qualities that go beyond the physical…  
\- So, I gather that the sex hasn’t been as good since we were together.  
\- I didn’t say… - Clarke snapped, annoyed that Lexa almost brought her back to her game… - My sex life, my life, in fact, is none of your business… Now, if you don’t mind turning around, so I can get dressed and get out of here before Bellamy sees my car…  
\- You didn’t used to be shy Clarke. – Lexa said, not making a move to look away.  
\- You didn’t used to be so lustful. – Clarke returned.  
\- If appreciating a pretty woman’s body makes me lustful, all right, I’m guilty of what I’m accused off. – With a sigh, Lexa turned, taking sheets with her and leaving Clarke unprotected. She then ran to put on the pants she removed before going to bed, but she didn’t bother with the jacket. She just wanted to get out of that room and, hopefully, get into Raven’s before Bellamy realizes she had arrived the night before. Eight years ago, her brother didn’t find out about this thing that I had with his best friend. In fact, nobody knew and Clarke had no intention of being discovered at this point. As she saw it, the thing with Lexa never happened. Clarke tucked her jacked and shoes into her bag, and then she went to the door and turned the knob. – Hey, Clarke…  
Frowning, Clarke looked over her shoulder and saw Lexa lying on her back, with her arms behind her head. She the cursed her heart for skipping a beat when she saw her like that on the bed and looked at her impatient…  
\- Nice tattoo… - Clarke almost chocked on the curse she had to contain and somehow, she managed to close the door gently, instead of slamming the door like she wanted. She then crossed the hallway on her toes to her sister’s room. Once inside of the bedroom, she ran to the bed and buried her face in a cushion and shouted.

 

Few hours later, the smell of coffee, bacon and pancakes finally encouraged Clarke to leave the bedroom. She was unable to sleep from the scene with Lexa and since she had no intention of hiding from Lexa in her house, Clarke decided to face the dragon face to face. She showered and put on a blue sweeter and jeans. Then, she put a touch of mascara and she dedicated a few more minutes than necessary. It was because the cut was short and she isn’t used yet to it.  
As she went down the stairs, she was saying to herself that the reason she got ready has nothing with Lexa, nothing at all. Lexa didn’t say anything why she is here, but Clarke thought that is for the wedding. But, then she remembered that Lexa had a place in Dallas, so she had no reason to be there, staying at the ranch, though she did say that Bellamy invited her and that didn’t make any sense too. Clarke knew that their paths would clash at some point… It was just pure luck that they didn’t meet for eight years. Clarke expected for Lexa to be at Octavia’s wedding, she even prepared for that. Without doubt, it would be better to see her when she was with a hundreds of other people around, than the situation that happened this morning. But, now she was composed and dressed too. Clarke heard the sound of men voices, chairs moving on the wooden floor and clatter of plates and cutlery. Family sounds. That kitchen has always been the heart of the house, the place where the family met, laughed, cried and shouted at each other. Clarke saw Lexa for the first time in that kitchen. Lexa was seventeen and Clarke was ten and she was hiding from her angry mother that was trying to put an end on her daughter’s rebellion. Lexa helped her hide and despite being interrogated, she never gave up my hiding spot. Clarke was in love with her since then, out of sheer gratitude. She spent nine years trying to get her attention and then she spent eight years wishing she never gotten it. Clarke squared her shoulders and went into the kitchen. She forced her smile as Bellamy and Lexa raised their head to look at her over their coffee cups.  
\- Good morning. – Clarke went to his brother and kissed her cheek. – You need a shave.   
\- You need some meat on those bones… Indra…- Bellamy looked over to the women that was in charged for the house for more than 25 years. – Make my sister a bunch of pancakes with extra butter.  
\- Just coffee Indra, thank you… - She went to Indra and kissed her cheek. Indra grunted that I was too thin and I had to eat, but the truth was that Indra was always growling at one thing or another. – I’ll eat something later… - Clarke promised and then she looked at Lexa. – My stomach was upset since I woke up. Hello Lexa.  
\- Hi Clarke. – Lexa nodded. – I haven’t seen you in a long time.  
\- You know what they say about the time… - Clarke accepted the cup of steaming coffee and leaned against the white tile countertop. The fun that she’d seen in the green eyes this morning was gone. Now Clarke saw only the hard working businesswomen who dominated a room just by entering it. Even in worn out jeans and a denim shirt, Lexa Woods was a woman who radiated power.  
\- That it flies when someone has a good time? – Lexa suggested and Clarke didn’t say anything. She just raised her mug and took a sip of coffee.  
\- Some things never change… - Bellamy said and shook his head. Then she put another pancake on his plate from the tray on the table. – I never understood why you two are always going for each other’s necks… - Bellamy said that and Clarke’s expression changed when she remembered the feeling when she had Lexa’s mouth on her neck and her mouth on Lexa’s neck. When ours eyes met, she knew exactly what I’m thinking and I knew that she was thinking the same. Clarke felt the heat on her cheeks and looked away quickly. When Clarke was younger, she punched Lexa or started fights on purpose, so nobody would notice the feelings she had for her. But, that first summer when she came back from college, the first time Lexa looked at her like a woman instead of a little girl, everything changed between them. Everything, except the fact that she didn’t want for Bellamy to know about them, or what she felt for his best friend. Clarke was convinced that if anyone knows about their relationship, it would end in disaster. The truth that their relationship ended in disaster without anyone knowing or intervening, they did it alone.  
\- Bellamy said that he’s going to pick you up at the airport this afternoon… - Lexa said indifferently. Clarke knew that Lexa was trying to make her nervous and she was succeeding. So, she looked at her out of the corner of her eye.  
\- I took the last flight yesterday and rented a car at the airport. I wanted to surprise my family.  
\- Nothing that you do, surprises us little sister. – Bellamy punctured a piece of pancake dipped in syrup. – But, I would have moved the boxes of your bed if I had known. Where did you sleep?  
\- I’m in Raven’s room? – Clarke said and it was the truth, without answering his question where she slept. – If I knew that you had company, I would’ve skipped the trip…  
\- Lexa is not company, you know that well. – Bellamy eat the last piece of pancake with a sip of coffee and then he pushed the chair back from the table and stood up. – I don’t know what the problem is between you two is, but I don’t have the time or the desire to act like a referee. Why don’t you kiss each other, make peace and end it all at once?  
\- Okay. – Lexa said and offered her cheek. Clarke frowned and was grateful that the phone rang, interrupting the conversation. Indra answered, signaling that it was for her and then went out the room, limping. Clarke’s frown deepened and she looked at her brother.  
\- What’s wrong with Indra’s leg?  
\- She needs and leg prosthetic… - Bellamy said. – The operation is scheduled for next month.  
\- What does he doing here standing all day?  
\- The old women doesn’t listen to me… - Bellamy said. – Maybe you and your sisters can talk a little common sense into her.  
Clarke thought that her record with stubborn women is not the best, but she’ll try. Indra was part of the family and Clarke couldn’t stand the idea that she’s suffering. She had been with them at the worst time; she gave them soup when they were sick and hot cocoa when it was cold. Indra cooked for their birthdays and festive meals. She always was there and Clarke couldn’t imagine the time when it won’t be like that.  
\- I’ll be in the stables… - Bellamy said and looked at Lexa. – You can take one of my horses, now that you are back in this business. We’ll auction some of them later this week, but I’ll let you choose first.  
\- I’ll be right there… - Lexa said and Clarke waited for Bellamy to leave, then she looked at Lexa with narrowed eyes.  
\- What does he means by, back in the business?  
\- I’m going back to my old ranch…  
\- What do you mean, going back? As far as I know, your parent sold your ranch five years ago, right after the divorce…  
\- That’s true… - Lexa finished the piece of the bacon and then she pushed her plate away. – They sold it to me…  
\- What? – Clarke stared at her with her eyes wide opened and not bothering to hide her surprise.  
\- I was tired of hearing them discuss who was left with what and how much… I had money from my first company then and I bought it… Until last year, I rented it through one of my corporations… - Clarke had a feeling that her head is going to explode. She didn’t know why she didn’t know anything that happened… Why Bellamy never mentioned that Lexa bought her ranch? Between the absence of her sister, Indra’s operation and Lexa buying the ranch she was feeling that she didn’t mattered and that nobody bothered to tell her anything.  
\- Does that bother you Clarke? – Lexa whispered and it did. It bothered her, but she didn’t want to tell her that… Clarke wrapped her hands around her cup, so Lexa couldn’t see them shake and she shrugged her shoulders too.  
\- It’s surprises me, that’s all… I didn’t know that the ranch life is exciting for oil tycoons…  
\- Maybe it’s not… But, I’m not for that here… - Lexa leaned back in her chair and looked in her eyes.  
\- Why are you here then?  
\- I’m here for you Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter, please review.


	3. Chapter 3

  
Clarke was outraged for the next three hours… ’’For you’’ From the window of my bedroom, Clarke watched Lexa leaning on the fence, her long arms on the metal railing. She watched how one of my brother’s workers trained a huge black horse. Clarke then remembered all the times; she stood there in the same spot, watching Lexa secretly. ‘‘For you’’ Clarke knew that Lexa said that only to annoy her and then Indra came back to the kitchen, and she couldn’t even answer to that stupid comment. Lexa even had the audacity to kiss my cheek before leaving through the back door. Fortunately, Indra was busy and she didn’t see anything. Clarke however… She had to keep herself siting on that chair and not follow Lexa outside. She didn’t want to give Lexa that satisfaction. And, what could she say… If Lexa wanted to come back and live on the ranch, that was perfect. Clarke decided that when she goes back to New York, she would send her some kind of a plant, something big and flashy with a lot of thorns…   
Clarke stayed in the kitchen, tried to clear her mind of everything that had Lexa’s name on it and chatted with Indra. She drank coffee and tasted the pancakes and bacon; meanwhile Indra told her what was happening on the ranch and in the town. But, how much Clarke wanted to make an effort to listen to Indra, she couldn’t. She couldn’t take Lexa’s smug expression of her mind when she told her that comment and her lips that brushed my cheek. ‘‘For you’’ Then, Clarke turned and looked through the window, her pulse quickened and she jumped back. Those damn green eyes were looking back at her. It was like she had eyes at the back of her neck. Clarke moved from the window, not knowing what else to do. She already packed her stuff from her suitcase and removed the boxes from the bed. She should be outside, enjoying the autumn weather, instead of thinking of Lexa. Clarke went back to the window and watched how Lexa and Bellamy talked as they enter the stables. It was clear that she wasn’t there for her. Lexa just wanted to play with her mind. After eight years, Lexa for sure moved on. Clarke did it, after all… The moments when she thought about Lexa from time to time weren’t that strange. Clarke was in love with her for years and they did have a short but intense relationship. It was logical that she sometimes thought about her, to have some of residual feelings even if the things didn’t work out between them. Clarke was smart enough to run away from her before falling in love even more than she already was. Before that love consumed her. Clarke wasn’t about to let anyone control her life like that. She saw what that kind of love can do to a person. Her mother was in love with her father and she loved him more than her life, and that destroyed her. – I’m stronger than that. – Clarke said to herself. – I have to be.  
Eight years before, she shed her tears for Lexa and in that moment, she felt more pain than ever in her life. But, she had left those feelings and Lexa behind and she didn’t cry for anyone in years.

  
\- Clarke! – Clarke jumped when she heard her sisters scream. She turned and ran down the stairs. Octavia and Raven came through the front door, arms full of shopping bags. Raven dropped the bags on the floor and ran to Clarke, laughing as she wrapped her arms around her. Octavia joined then a moment later and they hugged each other at once.  
\- You cut your hair… - Raven said and leaned back to take a better look at me. – I love it.  
\- Me too… - Octavia touched the ends of my hair that barely touched my shoulders. – You look perfect.  
\- Bellamy didn’t even notice… - Clarke complained, running her hand over her hair. She realized then that Lexa didn’t either made any comments about her hair. But, then she shook those thoughts away, stating that it didn’t mattered. Absolutely, it didn’t mattered a bit. – And, you? – Clarke took Octavia’s head in her hands. – My little sister, getting married.  
\- I can’t believe it either… - She blinked back her tears. – I’ll be Mrs. Lincoln Whittle in five days’ time.  
\- Also, she will be a chef in a few days too. – Raven added proudly. –Our little sister is will be executive chef of the famous five stars restaurant ‘‘Arkadia’’ in Dallas.  
\- Executive chef? – Clarke blinked to prevent tears.  
\- Yeah, yeah… - Octavia replied, smiling. – Also, now that Raven and Luna decided to officiate their relationship on our ranch, I’ll design a whole many just for them.  
Clarke looked over at her other sister. – You didn’t tell me that you had set a date…  
\- Sorry… We decided on the second week of December. – Raven bit her lip. – But, it’s not fixed yet, so if it doesn’t suit you…  
\- Don’t be silly, of course it’s okay. Any day would be wonderful. – Shaking her head, Clarke hugged her sisters again. – Come on, champagne is already on the ice… And, speaking of ice… Let me see your rings… - Two hands rose simultaneously and Clarke admired the glittering diamonds. Raven had an elegant emerald cut and Octavia’s was a more delicate oval. Both stones were at least two carats. – Now we’re talking girls, I don’t even know your significant ones, but I already love them. – Laughing, we went into the kitchen. Clarke opened one of the bottles of Champagne she had brought from New York and filled three glasses. – For my sisters! – She held up the glass and then, they all sipped.   
Then, the three sisters started talking at the same time.  
\- Please tell me that my bridesmaid dress won’t make me look like poodle?  
\- Not at all, the dresses are precious. – Octavia said and then she added. – Clarke, I love your jeans.  
Clarke smiled. –They are not in stored yet, but I can get you a pair, both of you.  
\- As long we are on the topic, can you get us that sweater too, it’s fantastic.  
\- Ok. But, tell me about the honeymoon in Paris? How romantic.  
Octavia nodded her head and then she said. – Yes, it’s a present from Bellamy. But, you have to see the chapel of the hotel. It’s beautiful.  
When the conversation calmed down a little and they tried to stop talking all at once, Clarke opened the second bottle of champagne and refilled the glasses.  
\- How are you Clarke? – Clarke lifted her legs up and wrapped her arms around the knees. – To be an editor of a major New York magazine and have your own column? – Raven asked.  
\- Boredom…- As if annoyed, Clarke threw back her hair. – Parties, fashion shows, shopping at all hours… Free clothes…  
\- How much do you pay them for working there? – Octavia asked, smiling.  
\- Don’t tell them that, but I’m willing to do just that. – Clarke whispered laughing. – Especially now, that I have all that money.  
\- It seems unreal, doesn’t it? – Raven asked and Clarke shook her head solemnly. – We never had money… I mean, we had enough for survival and then this happen and we inherit all this money from a grandfather that we didn’t even know…  
\- Do someone knows how much is it exactly? – Clarke asked. The last she heard from the accountant it was that he was still adding up the total of the various accounts that had accumulated interest for twenty two years.  
\- Not yet. – Octavia answered. – But, it will probably be enough to set up your own magazine, if you wanted to. Clarke thought about that possibility and then she looked back at Octavia.  
\- Or, your own restaurant?  
\- Maybe someday. – Octavia shook her head. – But, I don’t want that now. I’m just glad that Bellamy can extend the ranch, as he always wanted and that we don’t have to worry of giving the best care to mom. – Then, there was silence in the room and then Clarke asked.  
\- How is she?  
With a sigh, Raven set her champagne glass on the table. – Octavia and I went to the hospital yesterday to see her. – She whispered that sentence. – She thought that we are on the way to see one of Bellamy’s football games and then she told us not to come home too late. – Clarke thought with sadness that Abby Griffin had always lived in the past, in one that she invented. A fantasy world in which man she loved didn’t died and that they were still a big, happy family.  
\- I imagine you didn’t tell her that you are engaged and that you will get married in five days. – Octavia shook her head.  
\- Her doctors didn’t recommended it… It’s hard for her to accept any change and lately it’s even worse. Her doctor is experimenting with new medication and we are hoping that will help. I even thought about postponing the wedding for a few weeks, to wait and see if maybe she…  
\- No… She wouldn’t want that… - Clarke said that to Octavia and then she looked to Raven too, because she had the same guilt in her eyes. – That goes for you too… You two have met two wonderful persons who adore you and would do anything for you two. If I’m half as lucky as you two, we may be celebrating something mine in a few months. – Clarke cursed herself and then she had to bite her lip, wishing she could withdraw her last words. It was obvious that the champagne had released her tongue and she could only wish that the girls didn’t notice her words. She didn’t had that luck.  
\- Are you dating someone? – Raven asked.  
\- Clarke is always seeing someone… - Octavia added and then she leaned forward with interest.  
\- But, you never mention it… - Raven raised her eyebrow. – And, even less when we’re talking about weddings.  
\- I didn’t said wedding… - Clarke said, trying to retract her words. She wasn’t ready for that conversation. –I just said something… You two only have wedding on your mind.  
\- What is their name? – Octavia asked.  
\- Is it her or him? No matter, where did you met? – Raven added now. Clarke sighed and shook her head. Her sisters are like wolves circling their prey. They are in love and they believed that the rest of the world should be in love too or at least waiting to be in love. She was not, nor did she want to be.  
When Bellamy and Lexa entered the kitchen through the back door, Clarke wanted to kiss them. Well, at least Bellamy, she corrected herself. Bellamy then looked at champagne bottles and glasses and he made a face to Lexa.  
\- It seems that they are celebrating without us.  
\- Lexa! – Octavia jumped up and kissed her. – You’re here. Please tell me that you’re coming to the wedding?  
\- I couldn’t miss seeing my favorite girl get married. – Lexa caught Octavia in a warm embrace.  
\- Traitor…- Then, Raven kissed her cheek and wrapped her arms around her neck. – I thought that I’m your favorite girl?  
\- Your turn will come in a couple of months. Lexa said, smiling.  
Clarke controlled herself to not roll her eyes and she drank the rest of the champagne of her glass. She knew that her sisters had always regarded Lexa as their older sister and they assumed that she felt the same, but that was the furthest from the truth. If there was something that Clarke hadn’t felt for Lexa, it was fraternal feelings.  
\- It looks like Clarke’s turn might some pretty soon, too. – Raven said, reaching for two more glasses from the cabinet. – She was just starting to tell us about her new boyfriend…  
\- Or girlfriend. – Octavia added.  
When Lexa looked at her, Clarke gritted her teeth. That was just fantastic, just what I was looking forward to. Talking about my new boyfriend with Lexa…  
\- Really? – Lexa raised her eyebrows with interest. – She didn’t mention it this morning.  
Clarke pressed her finger to the stem of the glass. She knew very well what Lexa meant when she said ‘this morning’ and that was the fact that she woke up beside her in the same bed.  
\- The subject didn’t came out… - Clarke said.  
\- Come on Clarke, tell us… - Raven handed champagne glasses to Lexa and Bellamy. – At least tell us their name…  
Damn it… With everyone staring at her, she couldn’t sneak away… - Its Finn… - Clarke said calmly. – Finn Collins.  
\- Finn Collins? –Raven narrowed her eyes thoughtfully and then she opened them. – You mean Finn Collins, the channel 10 reporter?  
\- I’ve never heard of him… - Bellamy said, not impressed at all; took a sip of champagne and made a face of disgust.  
\- He’s here on channel six… - Octavia added. – He’s voted one of the most handsome men on television. – Amazed, Clarke would have wanted to ask her sister how she knew that, but she didn’t want to continue this conversation.  
\- We’re here to talk about your wedding, not about my love life.  
\- It must be serious. – Raven added and glanced at Octavia sharply. – She’s avoiding the subject.  
\- She used the word, love, too. – Octavia said.  
\- It’s just an expression. – Clarke pursed her lips and met Lexa’s gaze. – When it becomes serious, I will let you know.  
\- Do me a favor… If you decide to get married…- Bellamy placed his glass down and went to the fridge in the kitchen, to take a beer. – Don’t be like your sisters and save me the torture of dressing me as a penguin. Have your wedding in Las Vegas.  
While Octavia and Raven were protesting against about Bellamy’s words, Clarke looked at Lexa. Their eyes met and Lexa raised her glass in Clarke’s direction and then she took a sip. With Bellamy, under fire Clarke saw a chance to run away. She grimaced at Lexa, got up from the chair and fled to the kitchen without her sisters or her brother noticing. Octavia and Raven, both sulking, surely won’t miss her for fifteen minutes, or maybe more. She needed to put some distance between her and Lexa and all of that conversation about boyfriends and weddings. Without making a sound, she opened the front door and then she closed it as quietly as she could. She went to her car and thought that maybe a ride would clear her mind and then she sat behind the wheel. Clarke remembered that she had two glasses of champagne and leaned her head helplessly, closing her eyes and she let out a sigh. That was the end of her escape plan.  
\- Move… - Clarke lifted her head as Lexa opened the driver’s door and glared at her.  
\- I will not…  
\- We have to talk Clarke… Move. – Lexa was practically sitting on top of her, and she had no choice but to move to the other seat.  
\- Uh…- Clarke protested when Lexa started her car, but Lexa didn’t listen. She backed away gently, turned the car and headed towards the freeway. – Stop the car.  
\- No.  
\- Lexa… Take me back home.  
\- That’s not going to happen. Whether you like it or not, we’re going to talk. – Lexa glanced at her. – Put on your seat belt. – Clarke recognized that look of determination and she knew that, unless she’s willing to jump out of the car, she was trapped. So, she put her seat belt on and then she crossed her arms, ready to ignore everything that Lexa says. Clarke wasn’t surprised that Lexa drove her sport car well, she always loved fast cars. When they were seniors in school, Bellamy and Lexa had spent most of the evenings leaning over on engine or another. Clarke never understood that fascination, but she made them company, trying to be closer to Lexa. She even gave me driving classes and Clarke could only think how beautiful she is. One time, when Lexa showed her how to drive, Clarke was so distracted by Lexa that she pulled Lexa’s car out of the road, over an embankment. Lexa didn’t let her drive her car since then. Now, there she was driving my car and I still think that she’s beautiful and so close to me.   
Lexa then turned east on the freeway, away from the town. There wasn’t anything there except a neighboring ranch and a lot of woods. Oh, the lake. Clarke remembered that there was a road that would take us to the lake and that lake was special for them. They went to that lake when they wanted to be alone, the place where they could speak for hours and where they shared their dreams. The lake was the place where they made love for the first time.  
\- Do you have a destination in mind? – Clarke asked faking that she didn’t knew where Lexa is headed.  
\- I always know where I’m going Clarke. – Lexa said quietly. – You know that. – She did know that, but their problem always was that Clarke also knew where she was going, and their paths were in opposite directions.  
\- Why are you doing this? - Clarke asked, angry with herself for revealing emotions she had buried long ago.  
\- I told you. - Lexa took the narrow lined dirt road. - We need to talk. - Something in her tone, in the rigidity of her jaw, worried Clarke.  
-About what?  
\- That guy you're dating, what's his name?" Fill?  
\- Finn. - Clarke said, her eyes widening, knowing that Lexa had said the name wrongly on purpose. – Finn Collins. Why are you interested?  
\- Is your relationship serious?  
\- That's none of your business… - Clarke said coldly. Even so, despite her irritation that Lexa had abducted her and questioned her about Finn, she had to admit that she was curious. It intrigued her why she had been so upset, especially after so long.  
Lexa left the road and wheel of the car passed over the stones and leaves until it stopped in front of a group of rocks that she climbed more than once. The lake was calm and the warm afternoon sun flashed over the surface of the water. Once they swam in that lake naked in the light of the full moon and made love on the shore. Also, sometimes they climbed to the top of the rocks to lie on blankets, wait for fleeting stars and make wishes. At nineteen, for about three months, she had thought that this place was paradise. Clarke looked at Lexa, and in spite of the heat of the sun, a chill ran down her back and she felt an intense discomfort running through her veins.  
\- If you something to say Lexa, say it now…  
\- I never signed annulment papers.


	4. Chapter 4

Clarke froze. She was so quiet that Lexa wondered if she even breathed. Lexa took her there because she knew that Clarke would scream when she told her the news and now there she was quiet like a mouse. Lexa smiled, Clarke never had done what she expected.  
\- What? – The word was no more than a whisper.  
\- I meant to sign them, of course. – Lexa kept waiting for her to scream… Or, to punch her… - I guess, I simple forgot.  
\- You forgot…? – Clarke breathed at last word, a trembling and deep breath of air. – You just… forgot?  
\- I was immersed in merger of my companies and changing offices when documents arrived and they somehow got lost with all the fuss.  
\- Are you telling me we're still married? - Clarke swallowed hard and looked at her wide-eyed.  
-Technically? - Lexa rubbed her nape. - Yes.  
Clarke stopped breathing again, and stared at Lexa as she reached for the handle of the car. Lexa could have stopped the car before Clarke got out of the car, but Lexa supposed Clarke needed space and a few minutes to absorb what she had just said. Lexa watched her walk toward the lake, moving her feet slowly, until she reached the shore. In general, it seemed to her that the thing had gone quite well.  
At the ranch, when Bellamy had joked that Clarke should get married in Las Vegas, Lexa had noticed her reaction. No one but her would have noticed, nor would have understood the subtle stiffness of Clarke’s shoulders, the slight tension in her eyes. Lexa knew what memory that joke provoked.  
Las Vegas. Chapel Heart of the Cupid. The honeymoon suite.  
Of course, the honeymoon had not lasted much longer than the ceremony, but that had been Clarke’s decision, not Lexa’s.  
Lexa looked at her, standing at the edge of the lake, her arms at her sides as she stared at the crystal blue water. With a sigh, Lexa got out of the car and approached carefully. If there was one thing Lexa could predict about Clarke, it was that she’s unpredictable. Lexa supposed it had been Clarke’s fierce temper that drew her in the first place. That summer, when Clarke returned home from college, something happened. Suddenly she could no longer look at her and think of her like little sister. Lexa could only see her like a woman, an adult and sensual woman who made it clear that she was as interested in Lexa as she was in her. Lexa had fought the feeling, forcing herself to stay away from the ranch; she had even missed the Friday night poker game, with Bellamy and Roan. But missing the card game had had dramatic consequences. That night Lexa had come down to the village, thinking that she would play a few games of billiards in the bar, would have a couple of beers and try to have some of the waitresses help her to stop thinking about Clarke. The bar door had not yet closed behind her when she saw Clarke bending over a pool table, preparing her shot. Lexa would have turned around and left if Jasper, Monty, and Murphy had not been looking closely at her jeans covered backside. She could not leave her there with those three idiots drooling over her.  
Lexa could still see her, Clarke’s eyes blazing like blue fire when she told her she’s was going to take her home. Clarke said she had come down to town with Harper and Emori and was planning to leave with them. As neither Harper nor Emori were in sight, and Lexa was not in the mood to argue, she had lifted Clarke up in her arms, put Clarke on her shoulder, and then, said goodbye to the three men. No one had dared try to stop her, no one but Clarke, of course.  
She had struggled but unsuccessfully, of course. Lexa had not even bothered to drop Clarke on the seat of her truck gently; without further complication, headed back to the ranch. Clarke had protested relentlessly, and when Lexa got tired of hearing her, she told her to shut his mouth at once. She replied that she would close her mouth when she wanted to. Halfway, Lexa could not stand it anymore. She parked on the side of the road, laid her on his lap and kissed her.  
That made her shut up.  
Clarke had tasted like honey and mind and although her brain kept repeating that she shouldn’t put her hands on Clarke, when she returned the kiss Lexa stopped listening. From that moment, it was impossible to turn back.  
And the truth was that she didn’t want to back down.  
\- Clarke… - She didn’t turn around when Lexa stood beside her, she kept looking at the lake. Lexa frowned at Clarke’s almost serene profile. She was accustomed to seeing her angry, she knew how to handle her when she was sulking. But, she didn’t know what to do with a quiet, calm Clarke.  
Strangely, the longer she remained silent, the more anger grew within her.  
\- Damn it, Clarke. Say something.  
\- Say something? - Clarke made an incredulous sound. - Eight years after, you tell me that you never signed our annulment documents...  
\- Your annulment papers. - Lexa stepped in front of her and forced Clarke to look at her. - Not mine.  
\- And that's why you never signed them? - She lifted an eyebrow and looked into Lexa’s eyes. - Because it was my idea and not yours?  
\- I told you they were lost in the chaos of the move.  
\- There's no chaos in your world, Lexa. - Clarke shook her head slowly. - Your world is always in order, strict and under control. You don’t lose anything.  
\- I lost you. - Lexa was about to say, but she controlled herself in time. She didn’t want to say that more than Clarke wanted to hear it. - I thought we should’ve at least tried to make an attempt.  
\- Tried? - Clarke voice rose in volume. - Your idea of an attempt was for me to stop studying, move to Dallas, form a home, and have children.  
\- That's not what happened… Also, you said you wanted kids.  
\- After finishing college," she spat. - Having worked for a few years.  
\- I suggested you didn’t have to work," Lexa said, thinking she was as stubborn today as she had been then. - I was your wife and I had money, lots of money. I wanted to take care of you. What the hell was wrong with that?  
You wanted to take care of me?" She asked quietly. Clarke frowned, as if she had never thought of such a possibility. Clarke closed her eyes and let out a long sigh. When she opened them again, she approached Lexa and looked into her eyes. Clarke tentatively stretched out her arms. Lexa stiffened as Clarke placed her palms on Lexa’s chest, and her pulse quickened as Clarke’s fingertips moved gently, caressing her.  
\- If that's what you wanted," she murmured. - Why didn’t you say so?  
\- You didn’t give me a chance to do it," Lexa said.  
\- So much time lost. - Clarke shook her head sadly and looked up at Lexa with her huge blue eyes. - I should have listened to you.  
If Lexa hadn’t been so distracted by the soft tone of Clarke’s voice, the warmth of her fingers and the closeness of her body, Lexa could have seen what was coming. But she didn’t… So, when Clarke pushed Lexa couldn’t regain her balance, or, better yet, dragged Clarke with her. Lexa stumbled, her boot caught on a rock, and as she fell backward into the icy water, Lexa cursed herself for being such an idiot.  
\- I don’t need you to take care of me, Lexa Woods. - With her hands on her hips, Clarke shocked Lexa with her blue eyes. - I never did, and I never will. - With the grace of a queen, she turned and went back to the car.  
Lexa was still getting up when Clarke sat behind the wheel, started the engine and left at full speed. Dripping from the waist down, Lexa watched her departure. The ranch was more than seven kilometers away. It wasn’t too far, but distance wasn’t the issue at hand. Lexa had tried to be friendly. She even tried to be reasonable. She should have known that neither would work. Lexa thought that everything was fair in love and war and decided that when it came to Clarke Griffin, the two terms merged into one.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

\- Are you sure you don’t want to come to town with us?" Octavia stuck her head in Bellamy’s office on the lower floor, which Clarke had temporarily turned into a sewing room, much to Bellamy’s displeasure. – Indra’s shopping list isn’t too long. We can have lunch in the village, make the purchase and return in a couple of hours.  
\- I'm fine. - Clarke pulled a pin from the seam that had just ended and looked up from the sewing machine. - Besides, if you're not here, I'll finish the dresses sooner.  
Raven had said that the tailor at the hotel could handle the last-minute arrangements of the bridesmaid dresses, but Clarke had insisted on making them. She had been sewing since she was twelve years old, graduated in fashion, and, from time to time, to have fun, she designed some models herself. She could put a seam with her eyes closed.  
Besides, having pushed Lexa into the lake the day before, Clarke needed a project that would keep her hands and mind occupied.  
Watching Lexa seated in waist-high water while she started the engine had been the best time of day.  
\- Are you sure you'll be fine here alone, sister? - Raven hesitated at the doorway. - I can stay with you, if you want. Octavia doesn’t need me in the store, and she's the only one capable of deciphering Indra’s handwriting. I will not be very helpful in choosing the perfect piece of meat or the best accompanying wine.  
\- Neither of us would do much good for that. - Clarke leaned back in Bellamy’s leather armchair and smiled at her sister. While Raven’s life had always been centered on computers and Clarke's in fashion, Octavia’s passion had been food.  
-Octavia is the only person Indra allows to enter her kitchen. – Raven said.  
\- But that's only because I never gave in." Octavia said and put her arm around her shoulders. - Come on, Clarke. You've been locked up here all morning. We started thinking that you avoid us on purpose.  
When her sisters exchanged a glance, Clarke felt a prick in her stomach. If Lexa had told them anything, God forgive her, she would have to do something to Lexa that really hurt. It would make Lexa Wood's life such...  
\- We were talking about weddings yesterday, and you disappeared," Octavia admitted, embarrassed. - Then last night at dinner you were so quiet that we were worried that, well, maybe we're being ... boring.  
Clarke felt a jab of remorse. She had been so immersed in her feelings and in Lexa that she had not even considered what her sisters might be thinking. Embarrassed, she rose and went to her sisters. She put one hand on Octavia’s cheek and one on Raven’s.  
\- Being here… - Clarke said quietly. - With the two of you, talking about your weddings and sharing such a special moment in your lives that would never, ever bother me. I'm so sorry if I made you think that.  
\- You've been acting a little weird. - Raven stuck her hands in the pockets of her pants and lifted a shoulder. - When you don’t talk to us, we don’t know what to think.  
Clarke thought they were right. They couldn’t know what to think when she’d never said anything about Lexa. She had carefully concealed that part of his life, to the entire world. Perhaps the time had come to be honest. Not that particular day, of course, but maybe after Octavia’s wedding, or, even better, when she and Lincoln returned from their honeymoon. But then it would follow Raven’s wedding, so maybe it would be better to wait until early next year, or...  
\- She's doing it again. - Raven said to Octavia, who cocked her head and nodded.  
\- I'm not doing anything. - Clarke said. - Leave at once. I will have the dresses ready for you when you return, and then you may worry about me and my strange behavior.  
With a gentle push Clarke threw her sisters out of the doorway and returned to her sewing. When she heard the front door close a minute later, she stopped and listened to the sweet, wonderful silence. Lexa and Bellamy had also gone after breakfast, to see some woods on the southern prairie, and Indra had reluctantly retired to her room to rest her hip.  
Clarke satisfied to be alone at last, if only for a while, she leaned back in her chair and ran her hands through her hair. Clarke knew she had to tell his sisters the truth, which was the right thing, but she didn’t know exactly how to do it. Clarke couldn’t look them in the face and tell them that Lexa and she had made an impulsive escape to Las Vegas eight years ago and they were married and that they were still married.  
Clarke was still trying to absorb the enormity of Lexa’s announcement, and she had spent most of the night turning around in her bed. Clarke didn’t understand how Lexa could have done that to her, nor why. They had both had their ideas about marital life before going to Las Vegas, and they had both been half-mistaken. The only difference was that she had been able to admit it and Lexa hadn’t.  
As if the Lexa Woods, ‘‘I get who I want when I want’’, was able to admit that she made a mistake.  
Even so, even for Lexa, eight years was a long time.  
Obviously, they were going to have to talk about their situation sometime before the wedding, but as far as she was concerned, the longer they waited, the better. After such a long time, a few more days didn’t matter.  
With a sigh, she put his hands on the table and looked at them. Clarke saw as clearly as if it had happened the day before, the white gold ring Lexa had put on her finger. The simple pair of rings had been part of the chapel service package. They had laughed at that, and after Lexa had crossed the threshold of their honeymoon suite with Clarke in her arms, Lexa had kissed her and promised that she would buy her an appropriate ring when they returned to Dallas.  
Clarke had kissed her back and said. - You mean New York? - And that had been the beginning of the end.  
Clarke closed her eyes and dropped her hands in her lap. She hadn’t looked back when she threw the ring in Lexa’s face and left, she hadn’t dared. If she would’ve looked at Lexa, Clarke knew that she would have agreed to everything Lexa asked, renounced everything for her. To all her hopes and dreams However, over the years, there had been times when she had wondered what would have happened, if she hadn’t left, if she'd gone to Dallas. Maybe her life would not have been as bad as she thought then.  
\- Clarke.... - She opened her eyes and saw Lexa in the doorway, arms folded across her chest, watching her. Damn it. Clarke couldn’t even have a few minutes of peace without Lexa appearing from somewhere.  
\- I thought you were looking at woods that you wanted to buy…  
\- I'm back. - Clarke thought that there wasn’t a doubt about it.  
\- I'm busy, Lexa. - Clarke stretched her back and turned her attention to the dress before her. With a twist of her wrist, she caught the seam with the clip of the sewing machine. Clarke hated that Lexa had caught her at such a vulnerable moment. She'd been thinking about Lexa, their wedding. In those damn rings. Hoping she'd leave, Clarke ignored her. She concentrated completely on the buzz of the machine and the sewing she was finishing, determined not to let it irritate her. When Lexa stood in front of her, she didn’t raise her eyes from the seam.  
\- You're taking the light off me. - Clarke complained, not looking at her. Lexa pulled away, but the pleasant sense of victory that she felt, went awry when the machine suddenly stopped. Clarke looked up and saw her with the plug in her hand.  
\- Let's talk, Clarke.  
\- This isn’t the right time. - Clarke glanced nervously at the door. - Bellamy...  
\- He's in the shed, having lunch with his workers. - We're all alone, Clarke, just you and I. We may not have another chance.  
\- You've had eight years of opportunity. - Clarke narrowed her eyes at Lexa. - You appear here without warning, you release the news and then you wait for me to sit here quietly and chat with you. Well, I'm not ready to chat.  
\- Get ready. - Lexa said, setting the plug aside.  
\- I see you're still bossy.  
\- And you're still stubborn.  
\- Am I stubborn? - Clarke put her hand to her chest and began to laugh. - That's funny, Lexa. Maybe when you want to talk seriously, you could come back and...  
\- We’re going to talk now. - Lexa said firmly. - If you want to waste time arguing about it, perfect.  
\- The only time I've wasted was the one I was married to you. - Clarke said. If she hadn’t looked away, she might have seen Lexa round the table and could have avoided her hands before they closed on Clarke’s arms and lifted her. But she'd been too intent on hurting Lexa with her words, and she'd lowered her guard for a second, more than enough for Lexa. - Take your hands off me. - Her protest wasn’t strong and she knew it. Even worse, Lexa knew she knew it, too. The most she could do was lift her chin with indignant air.  
Clarke could’ve fought him, to have her let go, to shout, to flee from there. Clarke’s intuition told her to do that. Her instinct for survival commanded her. But she stood, her body pressed against Lexa’s, her breasts crushed against her chest; and the slightest residue of logic and reason dissipated like smoke in the wind.  
And where there was smoke, as the saying said, there was fire.  
Clarke looked into Lexa eyes and saw the flame in it, felt it in her blood. No other person had ignited her sensations like Lexa, love, anger, frustration, joy… passion. When she had been with Lexa, all her emotions had intensified. Obviously, eight years of separation had failed to change that.  
Excitement ran through her skin as Lexa looked at her mouth. Clarke couldn’t breathe with her so close, she couldn’t think either.  
\- I thought you wanted to talk. - Clarke said.  
\- Yeah… We have time for that, but first…  
\- No. - Clarke managed to whisper as Lexa’s mouth dropped to hers.  
\- Yes.  
Clarke felt a wave of despair as Lexa’s lips touched her, hopelessness, despair and intense yearning. Clarke told herself to turn away from Lexa or at least not to respond, not to feel. But it would’ve been all the same to tell the sun not to rise in the morning.  
It was so familiar, her touch, firm and solid, her taste, deep and intoxicating. Clarke curled her fingers and grabbed her shirt. She felt the warmth of her skin go through her hands and up Clarke’s arms and run her whole body down to her feet.  
\- Kiss me… - Lexa murmured. - When Clarke shook her head, Lexa smiled against her mouth. - You know you want to do it.  
\- It isn’t true. - Clarke sighed as Lexa’s lips brushed her chin.  
\- Very good. Then don’t ... - Lexa nibbled on her jaw and kissed her neck. - I will enjoy this for both of us.  
Clarke was breaking up quickly, dissolving into bits of desire. When Lexa put her mouth back to Clarke’s lips and ran her tongue over his lower lip, Clarke shuddered. Clarke hated that Lexa had that power over her, that she could make her feel things she didn’t want to feel.  
That idea took root and gave her enough strength to resist. Clarke rested her palms on Lexa collarbone and pushed. When Lexa didn’t move, Clarke pushed harder and turned her head.  
-Stop. - Lexa didn’t move for a long moment, and then she took her hands from Clarke’s arms slowly and stepped back.  
\- You're my wife, Clarke.  
\- I was your wife. - Clarke said, shaking her head. - I filed the annulment. The fact that you didn’t sign it doesn’t change anything.  
\- Damn it Clarke… - Irritation flashed in her voice, which rose in volume. - Whether it's right or wrong, whether you like it or not, you're still my wife.  
Clarke opened her mouth to argue, but something at the door, a slight movement or perhaps a sound, caught her eye. She turned around stiffly and felt her heart stop. Octavia and Raven stood in the doorway, gaping and wide-eyed. Clarke might have agreed to let them know. They were her sisters, after all, and at some point she would’ve told them the truth. What she felt incapable of accepting and whom she certainly didn’t want to see at the time, was the man standing behind them.  
\- My God, please let this be a hallucination. - Finn caught her eye, glanced at Lexa, and then looked at her again.  
-Hello Clarke.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that some of you have a problem with Lexa's behaviour. But, I have the need to defend her... Lexa is used to her ways and she did wanted Clarke to move but she never wanted for her to leave everything. Clarke just thought that because of her own fears. Lexa wanted to have family, for Clarke to change colleges, never to leave it... She never wanted to hurt Clarke in any way. She either wouldnt force her into anything. Some of you that remain with story will see that in the future chapters. Thanks for your support.

Clarke felt the blood drain from her head; when the room began to spin around her, she rested one hand on the edge of the table to balance. She wasn’t hallucinating. She wasn’t dreaming. The man she had been dating for the last few weeks was less than two meters away. He was very elegant in his tan trousers and a white Ralph Lauren shirt. The essential question was, how long had he been there? But, considering the rigidity of his mouth and the steely gleam of his eyes, more than enough.  
\- Finn. - Clarke ran a trembling hand through her hair. - How did you do, where...?  
\- We found him leaving the freeway on the way to the ranch. – Raven’s voice sounded cheerful, if a little tense. She glanced at Lexa, swallowed, and stared again at Clarke. - We almost crashed. Go figure.  
\- You should’ve called to tell me that you were coming. - Clarke struggled to give him her best smile, but since she wasn’t sure her knees were going to catch her, she didn’t dare move. - I would have picked you up at the airport.  
\- They changed my meeting in Los Angeles, so I decided to give you a surprise. Apparently, I have. - Finn then entered the room, went to Lexa and offered her hand. - Finn Collins.  
\- Lexa Woods.  
Clarke felt as if she was having an aneurism as she watched Lexa and Finn look into each other's eyes and shake hands; she wondered if the situation could become stranger. But she didn’t want to know the answer.  
\- It must be uncomfortable. - Said Finn calmly, - To meet your wife's boyfriend.  
\- No more uncomfortable than meeting your girlfriend's wife. - Lexa replied with a shrug.  
\- You're not my wife. - When Clarke’s voice broke, she cleared his throat and frantically searched for a plausible explanation. But she didn’t find any that made sense. - Finn, this is not what it looks like.  
\- Are you not married then? - Finn asked.  
\- Well, yes, in a way. Technically. - Clarke took a deep breath to fill his lungs. She had the feeling that the walls of the Bellamy’s office were lying on top of her. – But, it's actually a misunderstanding.  
\- You mean you're really married? - Octavia asked in disbelief. - Lexa and you? The one with the other?  
\- We were married. - Clarke corrected quickly, feeling a dull headache begin just behind the eyes. - Past time. Briefly, a long time ago.  
\- This is a joke, is not it? - Raven looked around. - There is a hidden camera somewhere. Then we will all see the tape and laugh a lot.  
Clarke seriously doubted that this was a moment she wanted to see again… She didn’t understand why Lexa wasn’t helping her. Why she was standing there with a satisfied smirk on her face. If Finn wasn’t in front of her, watching the development of the small family tragicomedy, Clarke would have thrown something at Lexa. Better yet, Bellamy kept a gun in the safe; she tried to remember the combination.  
-So it’s true? - Octavia looked from Clarke to Lexa and back. But how…? When?  
\- Eight years ago. - Clarke wiped her wet palms on her jeans. - One of those summer crazes. An impulsive trip to Las Vegas, a twenty-four-hour chapel. We regained common sense two hours later.  
\- You were only married for two hours? – Octavia looked at Clarke, confused.  
\- If so. - Clarke shrugged and clenched her teeth to keep from screaming. - We realized that we had made a mistake. I flew back to New York; Lexa returned to Dallas and requested an annulment. Until yesterday we hadn’t even seen each other again.  
\- She said you’re her wife. - Though Finn’s remark was directed at Clarke, his eyes were on Lexa, holding her gaze. - Present time.  
\- That's the funny part. - Clarke somehow managed to let out a dry laugh, scratching her throat like sandpaper. - There was a problem with the documents and it seems that, technically, the annulment never became official.  
\- We're your sisters. - Octavia said quietly, her brow furrowing. - How could you not tell us something like that? - The palpable pain on her face and her voice cut Clarke like a knife.  
\- I’m sorry. I should’ve told you ... - She looked at Raven too. - But it happened suddenly, then it was over and I found it easier to leave it like that. Lexa and I agreed it was best not to tell anyone.  
\- Let's get it straightened out. - Lexa glared at Clarke. I never agreed anything with you. You asked me not to tell your family that we had escaped to Las Vegas and, reluctantly, I accepted your request. Also, we didn’t make a mistake, nor did we ask for an annulment ... you did it.  
\- You wanted me to drop out of college and play a housewife. - Clarke said. - Let your little girl cook and welcome you to the door every night, with a pink ribbon in her hair.  
\- I asked you to change your university, not leave it. - Lexa said. - And the housewives don’t play, they work very hard, Clarke. I wanted you to build a home, a life with me, and I will not apologize for that.  
Clarke opened her mouth to answer, and then closed it again. Damn it! Eight years and it suddenly seemed like yesterday and they were in the middle of the hotel suite, nose to nose, repeating the same discussion and the same points of view. The only difference, of course, was that her sisters and her boyfriend were there with them.  
\- Then you're still married. - Moving his head, Finn looked at Lexa, then at Clarke.  
Finn, I'm so sorry. This has surprised me as much as you. - Clarke said. He raised an eyebrow and she sighed. - Well, maybe not as much as you, but it was a surprise. After Kiera's wedding, as soon as I return to New York, I will make sure the documents are made official. We'll make sure of that. - Clarke shot Lexa an angry look. - True?  
Lexa pressed his lips together and her mouth formed a taut line.  
\- Where is everybody? - At the sound of Bellamy’s voice from the other room, Clarke froze and exchanged nervous glances with her sisters.  
\- I suppose Bellamy doesn’t know about this either. - Octavia whispered.  
\- Of course not. - Clarke shook her head.  
\- Please, can we not tell him until after my wedding?" Octavia bit her lower lip. - He is already annoyed with having to wear a tuxedo on Saturday and, as a bride, I would greatly appreciate if our brother doesn’t have to face additional problems. Mr. Collins… - Octavia smiled politely at Finn. - If you're free, I'd love to see you at the wedding. As a companion to my sister, of course.  
\- I appreciate the invitation. - Finn looked at Clarke. - What do you think of that, honey?  
What did she think? With all the eyes in the room fixed on her, it was obvious.  
She felt trapped.  
The walls of the room seemed to come closer and closer, but somehow Clarke got to stand next to Finn, entwine her arm with his and she smiled.  
\- I think its wonderful idea.  
\- Maybe we should ask Lexa if she's okay with it. - Finn looked at the woman in question. - Since she's your wife ... technically speaking, of course.  
Clarke sensed the challenge in Finn’s voice and watched as the hard, fixed stare of Lexa returned. As if she didn’t have enough problems with one significant person in her life, she thought sadly, suddenly she had to deal with two.  
\- Where the hell is everybody? - Bellamy shouted, louder this time. Clarke turned around just as his brother poked his head through the door and frowned.  
\- Look who we've found. - Raven said her voice a little too sharp, too cheerful. – Clarke’s boyfriend. Isn’t that fun? - Funny. Clarke could’ve thought of several words to define the situation, but none of them came remotely to amusement. The dull ache in her mind became a sharp hammering, but somehow she managed to get past stress of pretending that she loved that Finn had appeared there in moment when Lexa was there.  
In fact, if it hadn’t been for Lexa she would have been delighted that Finn was there and that irritated her a lot. It was lovely that Finn had made such a long trip to surprise her. Romantic even. He was handsome, funny and understanding. Open minded. It was all I wanted from a person that I’m in a relationship with.  
That her lips were still burning from Lexa’s kiss didn’t mean anything, or that her skin still palpitates.  
Nothing.  
Clarke managed to keep a smile on her face when everyone moved to another room to drink something cold. As soon as she could have a moment alone with Finn, she could explain her brief marriage a little better.

\---------------------------------------

Lexa leaned against the porch railing and watched as the sun slowly lurked behind the trees. She had refused Bellamy’s offer to accompany Finn and him to visit the stables and the meadows, opting for the comfortable solitude of the evening.  
The deepening shadows gave a certain autumnal coolness to the warm twilight air, perfumed with the late roses of Octavia’s garden. In the stream behind the house, the toads croaked, while in the house there were conversations and laughter, mixed with the sound of the plates and cutlery they were picking up from the table.  
If she closed her eyes, she could almost imagine herself again at seventeen, though at that age she wouldn’t have been on the porch. She would have been behind the barn, drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette with Bellamy, secretly, and praying that Abby Griffin wouldn’t suddenly appear, delivering a speech about the bad symptoms of alcohol and smoking… Lexa smiled at the memory.  
Then she heard the screen door close behind him, and without turning around, she knew it was her. Lexa had been waiting for her, enjoying knowing that, for once, Clarke would have to go get her.  
With a glass of red wine in his hand, Clarke stood beside Lexa and rested her arms on the rail, watching the meadow where some workers were working with a roe mare.  
\- Good afternoon. - She said quietly, as she took lint from the pretty blue sweater she wore.  
-Hey....  
Octavia has prepared apple pie for dessert. - Clarke took a sip of wine gently. - I swear I've gained three kilos just by smelling it.  
Lexa turned his head and studied her. - You look very good, Clarke.  
Clarke looked at Lexa out of the corner of her eye and then she watched the hawk flying, until it disappeared among the trees.  
\- Dinner has gone well, don’t you think?  
\- Octavia has always been an awesome cook. - Lexa said. - And Indra letting Octavia prepare all the food in her kitchen is even more impressive.  
\- Not without supervision. - Clarke said. - Not without complaining that all those cooking schools had made her into a pretentious chef. But, I didn’t mean the food, Lexa, and you know it.  
\- You mean your boyfriend and your wife sat at the same table without throwing any punches?  
\- You're not my wife. – Clarke’s eyes twinkled and she pressed his lips together. - But, yes, I appreciate your being polite at dinner.  
\- Am I going to receive any reward for my good behavior?  
\- I'll get you a double serving of apple pie. - Clarke cocked her head and made a gesture of exasperation that Lexa knew very well.  
\- That would be my second choice, if I could choose.  
\- Lexa…  
\- Tell me about your grandfather - Lexa interrupted, before Clarke began to scold her. - Of all those cousins that you didn’t know…  
\- There's not much to say. - Clarke shrugged and took another sip of wine. - I haven’t met any of them yet. Bellamy doesn’t say much, but Octavia and Raven think they're all wonderful. It is hard to believe that they welcomed us so well, especially considering we don’t know each other. Anyway... - Clarke took a deep breath. - I'll meet them very soon. Even Echo will come to the wedding.  
\- Echo?  
\- Just when we thought nothing could be more strange or complicated. - Clarke shook her head. – She’s one of our cousins, but she didn’t agree with everything that happened. She didn’t want to have anything with us. But, she changed her mind.  
Bellamy had already tried to explain the confused genealogy of the family, but Lexa was still trying to understand it.  
\- Did you tell Finn any of this? - Clarke stiffened and stared at her.  
\- Why should I say anything?  
\- I had a feeling you were serious with him. - Lexa said indifferently.  
\- What if it is? - Clarke tilted her head back. - It's been eight years, Lexa. That's a lot of time.  
\- It may be just the right amount of time."  
\- We were kids. - Clarke said quietly. - Is it so hard for you to admit that we made a mistake?  
\- I don’t believe in mistakes, Clarke. - Lexa wanted Clarke to look at her, convinced she would know the truth if she could see her eyes. - Every step we take, every trip, every fall. Even when it's wrong, it's still our life. - Lexa looked at Clarke then and saw in her face a mixture of disbelief and mistrust.  
\- When did you become such a philosopher?  
-When did you become so cynical?  
\- I'm realistic. - Clarke argued. - A happy realist. For the first time in my life I have everything I wanted. A wonderful house, a fantastic job, money. A relationship.  
Lexa didn’t miss the fact that Clarke hadn’t mentioned Finn until she saw him leaving the stables with Bellamy. And even then, her voice had a lack of conviction. Lexa wasn’t sure if Clarke was trying to convince her or convince herself.  
The sound of a cell phone interrupted the quiet atmosphere, and Lexa watched Finn answer the phone as Bellamy spoke to Roan.  
\- Sign the papers, Lexa. - Clarke said, as Finn put the phone back in his pocket and headed toward the house with Bellamy.  
\- What if I don’t want to?  
Clarke seemed to gasp for a second, and then she pursed her lips. - I have no idea what you're playing with me, but I want you to stop.  
\- I’m not playing Clarke. - Lexa shook her head slowly.  
-Game? - Bellamy boot stepped on the first step of the porch. - What game?  
\- Clarke just asked me if the Rangers were playing tonight. - Lexa said.  
\- I didn’t know you liked baseball. - Finn frowned.  
\- She can’t stand it. - Bellamy kicked his boots against the floor to dust them off. - Clarke always said it was almost as boring as watching someone fish.  
\- You don’t know what I like. - Clarke said indignantly. - Turns out I do see a game from time to time. Especially if the Mets play.  
\- That's fantastic. - Finn stood beside her and put a possessively arm around her shoulders. - I have a season tickets and I usually give them away. - We're going to a game when we get home.  
\- I'm looking forward to it. - Clarke smile didn’t reflect in her eyes.  
Lexa smiled at her, she was sure that what Clarke was really looking forward to was giving her a slap for having started this conversation.  
\- Well ... - Clarke looked at Finn. - Are you ready for dessert?  
-I'm afraid I'll have to leave it for another time. - Finn let out a sigh. - My producer just called. He got me an interview with Anya Grounder.  
\- Movie star? - Bellamy looked up. Finn nodded in reply.  
\- She’ll be in New York for a few days, promoting her new movie. Her manager called to organize everything. I have an exclusive two hours with her, early tomorrow, at eight.  
\- A two-hour exclusive with Anya Grounder? - Clarke raised her eyebrows. - Actresses of that caliber don’t usually give interviews of more than five minutes.  
\- That's why I have to leave, although I'd love to stay ... - Finn pulled Clarke to him and smiled at her. - There's a flight at ten-thirty that I might take if I leave right now. I'll be back on Saturday for the wedding. Will you miss me?  
When Finn brushed Clarke’s lips with his mouth, Lexa squeezed the glass and finished the contents of a drink, preferring to focus on the whiskey burning in her throat than the flare of jealousy that burned in her stomach.  
\- Of course I'll miss you. - Clarke pouted.  
\- It's the day after tomorrow, for God's sake. - Bellamy mumbled impatiently. - Can we go and have dessert now?  
\- Do you want of a picture of Anya with her autograph? - Finn offered. It would be a good company for a cold, lonely night.  
\- Sure. – Lexa said. She had perfectly understood Finn’s irony, but she refused to take the bait.  
\- Forget the picture. - Bellamy opened the screen door and raised an eyebrow. - Ask her ifs he wants to be my companion at the wedding.  
\- I'll see what I can do. - Finn said. Then he looked at Lexa. - And what do you want? Do you want me to try to get you a date too?  
\- No need. - Lexa held Finn’s gaze, then she stared at Clarke. - I'm sure I'll be able to find a date myself.  
Finn pursed his lips and looked back at Lexa. Then he hugged Clarke harder.  
\- I should go and say goodbye. - He said.  
\- See you Saturday. - Lexa lifted the glass toward him.


	6. Chapter 6

\- I think I'm going to vomit. – Octavia said.  
\- Don’t you dare… - Clarke closed the last tiny silk-lined button on the neck of Octavia’s wedding gown, then stood next to her sister and put an arm around her waist. - You don’t have time. There are one hundred and fifty guests waiting for you to walk to the altar in fifteen minutes.  
Octavia frowned and stared at her sister in the mirror. - That's not helping...  
\- One hundred and fifty-five, to be exact. - Raven added, kneeling down to stretch the bottom of Octavia’s dress. - At least, that's what the wedding organizer told me a few minutes ago.  
\- That doesn’t help either. - Octavia put a trembling hand to her stomach and closed her eyes. - I can’t do this.  
\- You can and you will. - Clarke tightened her sister's waist. - Now, open your eyes look at me and breathe. Raven, you too, come here with us. - They stood on either side of the bride in their long blue evening silk dresses, and they all breathed together, slowly and deeply, until Octavia’s cheeks regained color and her shoulders relaxed.  
\- Was this the same for you?" Octavia asked, looking Clarke in the eye. - When Lexa and you married, did your palms sweat, did your heart pounded, and did you had this feeling that you were going to get out of your body?  
Clarke thought of all the things she didn’t want to talk about at the time, her wedding was the first on the list.  
\- Octavia, you can’t compare this to what happened between Lexa and I, and besides, we don’t have time to talk about it now.  
\- Please. - Octavia reached over and grabbed Clarke’s hand. - Please. Not that I have any doubts about marrying Lincoln, I just need to know if all these emotions and sensations are normal.  
Clarke looked from Octavia to Raven and saw that both were waiting for an answer… Octavia, who was with one foot on the altar, and Raven, who would soon approach the same altar, wanted her, the least indicated person, to reassure them in some way.  
\- My heart was like a rubber ball. - Clarke said, squeezing Octavia’s icy fingers. - My hands trembled so much that I barely managed to sign the marriage license. - Clarke remembered everything perfectly. The perfume of the red roses in the tiny chapel, the stained glass windows… The memory stirred her blood and her stomach; for a moment she was again in that chapel, with the candles burning around her and an instrumental version of the song ‘‘I will love you forever’’ sounding like background music. - I thought I was going to faint. - Clarke continued quietly. - And suddenly Lexa and I found ourselves looking into each other's eyes and saying our vows. Then I felt an intense calm and a certainty that I had never felt before.  
The wows had come out of her mouth easily. No doubt, no hesitation. At that moment she would never have imagined that three hours later she would be alone on a plane, returning home.  
Clarke blinked and returned to the present. Octavia and Raven stared at her.  
\- What? - Clarke asked.  
\- You're still in love with her. - Octavia said her eyes wide and filled with surprise.  
Clarke cursed and regretted talking about the past and letting her mind wander. Then Clarke brought Octavia’s veil, which was by the dressing table.  
\- Don’t be ridiculous.  
\- Yes you are. - Raven corroborated Octavia’s opinion. - Every time you say her name, your eyes change, and when you are both in the same room, something strange is present, as if a storm is coming.  
\- That's not love, sis. - Clarke shook her head and stretched the veil. - It's frustration. The woman drives me crazy.  
\- Ah, I know that feeling. - Octavia put her hand to her heart. - It's the same with Lincoln. Especially when he comes out with the routine of "I am the man and I know more about this than you".  
\- Oh, Luna is the same. That's how it is. – Raven said, smiling. - Sometimes I can’t decide if I want to punch her or kiss her.  
\- Leave it alone. - Clarke held Octavia by the shoulders to keep her still, tucked the veil over the hair and held it in place. - We will not talk about this anymore. What happened between Lexa and I is past history. As soon as she signs the annulment papers, it will be as if we never existed.  
\- You don’t really want to…  
\- Not another word," Clarke cut off Octavia. - This is your wedding day. You're gorgeous and Lincoln is out there waiting for you.  
\- Clarke, I still don’t believe…  
They all turned when they heard a tap on the door of the dressing room. The wedding planner, a pretty blonde that Octavia had hired, opened the door.  
\- Five minutes. - She announced, and then she was gone again.  
Octavia stood still. Her eyes wide, she stared at her reflection in the mirror as Clarke finished adjusting her veil, and Raven handed her a bouquet of pale pink and white lilies.  
\- I'm getting married. - Octavia whispered, and then glanced at Raven and Clarke. Her eyes filled with tears. - I love him so much.  
No, no, no. - Clarke blinked at the moisture in her eyes. – Don’t you dare cry now. If you start, we'll start too, and we don’t have time to fix your make-up. Try to hold on for at least half the ceremony, then you can cry if you really need it.  
Octavia swallowed hard, inhaled deeply, and placed the bouquet at her waist.  
The chords of wedding march were heard through the loudspeakers, indicating the beginning of the ceremony. Smiling, the sisters looked at each other.  
\- Ready? - Clarke asked.  
A calm expression appeared on Octavia’s face. She lifted her chin and straightened.  
Ready! - She said.

 

The Imperial Ballroom hotel glowed. Candles sizzled on the burgundy satin tablecloths, Champagne and chocolate flowing from bubbling fountains. On each table were vases with elegant white flowers, and their sweet scent mingled with that of Wellington and Marsala chicken. An orchestra of ten musicians played a mixture of soft blues and slow songs. Some guests were heading for the dance floor, while others were enjoying the table, talking, laughing. Smiling  
All but Lexa.  
Sipping her second glass of champagne by the bar, she watched Clarke. She was sitting at the bridal table, next to Finn, at the same table where Lexa had been until ten minutes ago. Lexa had tolerated Finn’s presence during the meal, had even managed to endure the detailed account of the reporter's interview with Anya Grounder, and that seemed to have fascinated everyone at the table.  
Everyone but her.  
While Finn commented on an anecdote about Anya’s new film, Lexa had been mentally writing her own script, one in which a New York reporter suddenly disappeared from the map in Texas after taking a wrong exit on the freeway. Clarke was the female lead in Lexa’s movie, the fleeing girlfriend who had been kidnapped by a convicted escaped prisoner, who was eventually rescued by a brave FBI agent. That role, of course, belonged to her. Lexa continued to work on the details, but in general she liked the basic plot, especially the ending, when the heroine showed her gratitude to the hero.  
Lexa had a good time imagining that part.  
She took a long drink of champagne and looked at Clarke, who unconsciously fiddled with the diamond and sapphire necklace around her neck while drinking champagne. She thought of those soft fingers, the feel of her hands on her bare skin. Time had not taken away that memory. If anything, she had accentuated it. Lexa thought about when they made love the day before their wedding. She remembered every whispered plea, every groan, and every caress. As if it were a good wine, of incalculable value, had maintained those feelings. Lexa had known that going there, seeing her, would increase all that. In fact, she had counted on it. But she hadn’t imagined how strong and sharp these emotions would be.  
When she had seen her walk down the aisle in front of Octavia, her blue dress shining like rain and caressing her long, slender curves, Lexa’s throat had closed. She had run out of oxygen, unable to think coherently, for her mind and her eyes there was only one thing: Clarke.  
Clarke’s face had been lit with joy and her eyes were shining like the dress. Clarke had that same look eight years earlier, the day when, standing before her, promising to love her, to be her wife. Forever. The thought was like a punch to the gut.  
Then the wedding march had begun, and Lexa had turned his attention to Octavia. Like an angel, she had floated into the chapel. She watched her take Bellamy’s arm, then offered it to Lincoln. There seemed to be a collective sigh from all the women in the chapel when the bride looked at the groom, and when they exchanged their vows, the handkerchiefs came out and there was not a dry eye in the room. When Lincoln put the ring on his wife's finger, Lexa looked at Clarke and their eyes met. She looked away, but not fast enough. Not before Lexa saw that she was remembering the ring Lexa had put on her finger, the votes they had exchanged eight years before. Lexa also knew that she would never admit that was thinking about it.  
Demonic, stubborn woman.  
Lexa saw Finn touch Clarkes shoulder and lean over to whisper something in her ear. When she smiled and nodded, Lexa was about to let out a deaf growl.  
\- What do you think about him?  
\- What? Lexa’s eyes narrowed, and her head jerked at the sound of Bellamy’s voice.  
\- I like it. - Bellamy made the waiter sign for a beer. - And that's okay, since it looks like he'll be around for a long time.  
\- Who says that? – Lexa said.  
\- That's what happens when you get married, Lexa. - Bellamy frowned. - At least it's supposed to be like this. Is there anything about my sister's new husband that you don’t like and that I should know?  
Damn. Lexa understood that Bellamy was talking about Lincoln and she cursed herself for allowing her to get distracted, but Lexa also felt some relief from the interruption, because she had been about to cross the room and punch Clarke’s date.  
\- Lincoln? I like him. - Lexa shrugged and looked at the newlywed couple on the dance floor. - He looks like a good guy.  
\- You should have been there the first time we met. - Bellamy lifted the beer to his lips. - I'll have to tell you someday. Now that you are coming back home, we may finally see each other more than once a year. Hell, maybe I even let you play poker with us on Friday nights. In a couple of games I'll be the owner of your ranch.  
\- Or me the owner of yours.  
Bellamy shrugged his shoulders and leaned against the bar.  
\- We could do it, you know.  
\- What?  
\- A partnership. - Bellamy said. - Combining land and property.  
-Are you suggesting a fusion of land and property? Wait ... - Lexa tapped his ear.- I must have misheard you.  
Bellamy frowned and then he smiled.  
\- Now, at last, I have the money to expand, so why not? - Our ranches touch at the east, I think if we could take over that ranch from the south, we would become something important.  
\- There's no way Jaha will sell. - Lexa shook her head.   
\- It wouldn’t do any harm to talk to him. - Bellamy ducked his head and sighed when he saw the wedding planner gesture to her side. - Think about it and you'll tell me later what you think about it.  
When Bellamy left, Lexa thought for about three seconds, until she saw Clarke on the dance floor. At least she wasn’t dancing with Finn, but with Raven’s fiancée, Luna. When Finn reappeared suddenly and took Clarke in his arms and smiled, Lexa’s hand tightened the glass. She wondered how much more of that she was supposed to put up with.  
He held in exactly fourteen minutes. Enough for Bellamy to make a toast, enough to serve the cake and enough to make the dance floor fill again. The champagne in her glass ran out, and she scanned the room, looking for Clarke. Lexa had kept the distance with her that night, giving her room; But at that moment she wanted Clarke in her arms, she wanted to have her very close and Finn, wherever he was, could go to hell.  
If the only way to get her purpose was to join the dance floor, she would dance. When Lexa didn’t find her, she frowned and looked for Finn. She didn’t see him it either. Lexa’s face darkened even more. They would have had to pass beside her if they had gone to the toilets. And they would have passed by if they had gone out into the yard. Lexa wondered where the hell they were then.  
A moment later, she saw them at the other end of the room and his stomach knotted as they left the room. Lexa clenched his teeth, set the empty glass on the bar, and followed them. There were certain things she wasn’t willing to allow.


	7. Chapter 7

Clarke, standing before the elevator in the hotel, eagerly pressed the up button, even though it was already on. She felt a pinch of regret, but she had made her decision and was sure it was the right one. And her motto had always been: "Don’t look back." That had helped her through difficult times and had kept her spirit strong and indomitable.  
That motto would also help her get through that night, she thought, inhaling deeply to be sure and calm. It had to help her.  
\- Clarke! - She froze, didn’t even turn to hear Lexa’s angry voice from the other end of the lobby. Damn it... She couldn’t face her at that moment, couldn’t look at her, and couldn’t talk to her. In fact, she had barely managed to take her eyes off her throughout the night, she couldn’t help but think how gorgeous she was in her black tuxedo, and she couldn’t help the unwanted pricks of jealousy she had felt when she had seen women look at her, smile at her.  
She said to herself that it had been the fault of the stress of the last few days, and of seeing her sister marry the men she loved, which had unleashed all those emotions within her. Weddings had that effect on people. The whole discourse that centered on "happy forever" made a person soften inside and her brain became pure mush.  
When Lexa spoke again, Clarke felt something like panic cling to her stomach. She pushed the "Rise" button again, cursing the slowness of the elevator.  
Clarke felt a surge of relief as the doors finally opened and she hurried in and hit the "Close Door" button. Then she turned and watched Lexa run toward the elevator. Her long legs soon shortened the distance between them. When the doors began to close and Clarke was sure Lexa wouldn’t arrive in time, she waved her fingers in a farewell gesture and smiled at Lexa.  
But her smile faded as Lexa managed to reach into the elevator and keep the door from closing.  
Clarke’s jaw clenched, Lexa stepped into the elevator and pressed a button. The doors closed gently and she noticed the purr of the hydraulic motor at her feet. Through the speakers she could hear a melodic song.  
When Lexa turned to look at Clarke, her eyes had the fierce look of a caged animal. Clarke almost gasped as she realized that she was in the cage with Lexa and there was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide.  
\- Where do you think you're going? - Lexa asked, her voice tense.  
The question caught her by surprise, but recovered quickly, determined to endure at least until the elevator doors opened and she could escape. Clarke gathered courage to simulate a bravado that was so far away from what she was feeling and gave her an icy look.  
\- Are you doing a survey, or is it just curiosity?  
\- Enough with ironic answers. - Lexa cornered her against the corner. - Please answer the damn question I asked you.  
\- It's none of your business where I'm going.- I do what I want, when I want, Lexa, and I don’t need your permission.  
\- Good. – Lexa moved closer, until her thighs touched hers. - Because I will not give it to you then.  
\- Hold on. - Clarke told herself, though it seemed to her that this was the longest elevator ride of her life. With her chin high, she gave Lexa a look that would have pushed any other person back. Any person but Lexa. Her jaw tense and her eyes bright green, she returned her gaze.  
The cold she had felt moments before began to disappear. Lexa was so close to her that she could feel the warmth radiating from Lexa’s body through her dress, it almost seemed to pierce her skin.   
Clarke wanted to give her a push to push away, but she wasn’t able to touch her, Clarke wasn’t sure what would happen next. Clarke thought to herself that it would be best to change tactics. If she couldn’t control the beast, she would reason with her.  
\- This is ridiculous. - Clarke said with a deep sigh. - Lexa, please, it's been a long day. I'm tired. Whatever you have in mind, could we leave it for tomorrow?  
\- We can’t.  
Clarke pursed her lips, not in the mood to argue. When the elevator finally stopped and the doors opened, Clarke said a silent prayer. But she gave a little cry when Lexa grabbed her arm and pulled her down the hall.  
\- Lexa! Clarke stumbled, trying to keep her balance and not drop the bag she had on her shoulder. If she had been able to take off one of her three-inch heels, she would have hit Lexa head with it.  
Lexa stopped abruptly at the door of one of the suites, and she bumped into her.  
\- This isn’t my room. - Clarke protested.  
Ignoring her, she passed the card through the slot and opened the door, forced Clarke inside and closed the door behind her. When Clarke bolted, she thought her heart was going to explode.  
Obviously, it was her room.  
\- What do you think you're doing, dragging me here like you're a Neanderthal? - Clarke tried to free her arm, but Lexa was holding her tight.  
\- If you think I'm going to stand there doing nothing while you're going to meet your lover, you're very wrong."  
My lover.  
Clarke took a moment to assimilate Lexa’s words. She could’ve laughed, but she realized that would dissipate Lexa’s anger, and she needed anger, she needed something to grab by tooth and nail.  
\- What makes you think that you can be eight years out of my life and then to reappear suddenly and give me orders?  
Clarke wondered why they it didn’t look like eight years passed. Why it felt the same as if everything had happened the day before. The same emotions, the same heat, the same discussion.  
\- The fact that you are my wife. - Lexa replied. - Eight minutes, eight hours, eight years, I don’t give a damn. I am your wife.  
\- I signed the papers, Lexa. - Clarke lifted her chin defiantly. - That you didn’t, doesn’t mean that I’m tied to you.  
\- But you're tied to me. - Lexa pulled Clarke into her body roughly. - Marriage or not marriage. With papers or without papers. You will always be. That's what scares you so much, isn’t it, Clarke? - Lexa said firmly. - You know that no matter how long you wait, or how long you struggle against it, you will always be.  
\- No, I won’t… - She didn’t want to hear that. She refused to listen. - You can’t keep me here. Someone will come and get me. Its Octavia’s wedding, for God's sake. Do you really want to make a scene?  
\- The wedding is over, and by this time Octavia and Lincoln are already in their limousine on the way to the airport. But since you're so worried that someone is coming to get you ... - Lexa tightened her grip on Clarke’s arm and pulled her to the other side of the room. - Let's make a call so that a certain person doesn’t have to worry, what do you think about that?   
Lexa picked up the phone beside the sofa and pressed the key on the reception desk.  
Clarke tried to take the phone away.  
\- What are you…?  
\- Finn Collin’s room, please. - Lexa said into the phone.  
\- Lexa, stop! - Clarke took the phone from her hand and hung up. - Are you crazy?  
\- Obviously. - Lexa narrowed her eyes, which turned into two black, cold streaks. - A sane person wouldn’t be wasting her time standing here, arguing with the most stubborn woman in the world. A sane person would have given up when that woman left her wife standing alone in a hotel room. A sane person would have signed the damn papers and found another woman to share her life.  
Clarke stood still, it was as if those words had emptied the air of her lungs. She wondered why those words hurt her. How could they still hurt after all this time?  
\- Why didn’t you do it? - Clarke asked, her voice tense and sharp.  
\- If you need to ask why, it doesn’t matter. - Lexa let go of her, and ran her hand through her hair and turned, swearing. - Go away, Clarke. Get out of here.  
\- Run… - Clarke’s mind screamed. – Fast and far away. - But her heart whispered something completely different and Clarke couldn’t move. She could barely breathe. Clarke thought, desperately, that none of this would be happening had the damn elevator doors closed.  
\- Just not at Finn’s room, please. – Lexa’s plead hung in the air, filled with silence.  
\- I was going to mine room. – Clarke admitted  
Lexa turned and looked at her with those green, angry eyes, but said nothing.  
\- I broke up with Finn . - Clarke crossed her arms, hoping she could keep her composure. - Yesterday.  
\- Yesterday? - Lexa frowned. - But then, why was he here with ...?  
\- With me? - Embarrassed by her admission, Clarke stared at the cream-colored soft rug. - Because I asked him.  
\- Why? - Lexa took a step toward her.  
\- To keep you away. - Clarke closed her eyes, not sure her knees were going to support her weight for much longer. - I figured if I could survive the wedding, and get through tonight, I could go back to New York tomorrow, back to my life without ... - When she went silent, Lexa reached out and took Clarke’s chin in her hand.  
\- Without?  
Clarke opened her eyes and looked up at Lexa. She pushed her pride aside, and yielding to her need, pure and simple.  
\- Without doing this. - Clarke closed the small space between them. Then, she slipped her hands over Lexa chest and lifted them up around her neck.  
Clarke didn’t want to run anymore. Not tonight. The last piece of denial, of resistance, she lost it. Clarke thought they were both crazy. But there was only this moment, there was only Lexa. Madness or not, it didn’t matter.  
Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist and pressed Clarke against her body. Then Lexa pressed her mouth to hers. There was no need for seduction, no reason to convince her. She wanted it. She desired it. And the two would satisfy their desire.  
Lexa didn’t move her mouth as she lifted Clarke into her arms and carried her to the bedroom, kicking the door closed. Clarke’s taste, her scent was fantastic and erotically familiar to Lexa and she felt heat flare through body, and as he slid her mouth to Lexa’s neck, she moaned.  
The curtains were open and the moonlight filtered through the soft white curtains that covered the floor-to-ceiling windows, creating a silver glow in the room. Already beside the bed, Lexa lowered Clarke to the floor, sliding it along her body. Even as her feet touched the ground, she still felt as if she were floating in a cloud of intense pleasure. Clarke slipped her hands inside the tuxedo jacket, pulled it off her slender shoulders, and dropped it down to the ground. Then she looked up. The wild desire she saw in Lexa’s eyes made her knees shake and her pulse flare.  
With her arms staying at her sides, Lexa shuddered, and threw her head back as she lowered her mouth and laid a kiss from one shoulder to the other. Lexa slipped her hands around Clarke’s waist, found the zip of the dress and lowered it slowly.  
\- I want you. - Clarke murmured, raising her head to look at Lexa.  
\- I want you, too. - Lexa drew air as she pulled the straps of Clarke’s dress off her shoulders.  
The blue silk fell to the floor, surrounding Clarke’s feet like a pool of light. The little she wore was black. A bra without shoulder pads, a lace thong and heels of ten centimeters. She stood before Lexa, trembling, terrified, and excited.  
\- You're even more beautiful than I remembered. – Lexa’s voice was thick and hoarse, her eyes dark and narrow. – And, I have a pretty good memory.  
Lexa brushed Clarke temple with his lips, then her cheeks, then found her mouth again. The kiss was impatient, demanding, and Lexa wrapped her arms around her neck and moaned as Lexa dragged her to the bed. Clarke ran her hands over her shoulders and then lowered them to look for the buttons of her white shirt; Clarke opened them one by one until she had her hands inside Lexa’s shirt, touching her burning skin.  
Lexa stood over her, pressing her against the soft mattress. She caught her wrists in her hands and held them as she kissed Clarke down her neck to her breasts. It was almost too much. Feeling the heat of her breath on Lexa’s skin, the sensation of her mouth trying, playing, nibbling through the silk, tugging at one erect nipple and then the other; all this drove Clarke crazy with desire. She moved beneath Lexa, impatient, wanting to touch Lexa, touch her like she was touch me, but Lexa didn’t release her wrists, arousing her even more, frustrating her until she groaned her protest. But Lexa continued to hold her captive, trapped beneath her, holding her arms above her head as Lexa explored her body with her mouth and tongue. Clarke gasped, squirmed with desire, and when Lexa finally released her wrists to take her the other breast in her hand, Clarke groaned again and slid her hands down her shoulders and down to her opened shirt, freeing her from it.  
Clarke tugged at Lexa’s shirt, desperately wanting to feel her skin on hers. Meanwhile, somehow, her bra had disappeared and Lexa licked a nipple and then she sucked hard. Clarke felt a prick of intense heat between her legs and moved against her, wanting her fingers inside, needing Lexa inside of her. Pleading, groaning, she dragged her blunt nails down Lexa’s hair and then down her shoulders. Lexa then put her hands to her thighs, ripped the tiny piece of lace from her hips and tossed it to the side. Then her fingers stroked the sensitive inner area of her thighs, climbing up to the most sensitive spot of all.  
Trembling, Clarke arched up when Lexa touched her, feeling warm and cold at the same time. Clarke also wondered how she could have lived without it. Without Lexa for so long. As she touched her, that question and any other thought faded from Clarke’s mind. I could only feel Lexa. The pleasure was an increasing and Clarke thought she would go crazy if Lexa don’t stop teasing her. When Clarke couldn’t take it anymore, she pushed Lexa and rolled over the bed until she settled on top and began to struggle with the buckle of Lexa’s belt. They struggled together, until Lexa’s black and tight pants, shoes, and other garments scattered across the bed and floor. They rolled again on the bed.  
Lexa rose over her, opened Clarke’s thighs with her knee and held her hips with her hands. Holding her breath, heart pounding in her chest, Clarke closed also her eyes, believing that the wild desire that gripped her might kill her.  
\- Look at me, Clarke. - Lexa gasped.  
\- Hurry up ... - Clarke forced herself to say and she breathed deeply. – Please…  
\- Open your eyes and look at me. - Lexa demanded, trapping her wrists and holding them to her sides. - Say my name.  
Clarke knew why Lexa wanted her to do that, what she intended, but Clarke didn’t care. She understood, with horror, that at that moment she would have done whatever Lexa asked. Anything. There was nothing that she could deny her... Slowly she opened her eyes and looked at Lexa.  
\- Lexa. - Clarke muttered, hearing the desperate need in her own voice, and the frantic heartbeat in her chest. - Make love to me, Lexa.  
Lexa slid her hand down her body and then she pushed two fingers inside her and placed her thumb over her clit.  
Clarke’s world changed, from her point of view; there was only that moment, there was only Lexa making love to her. Clarke arched her body up, whispering Lexa’s name over and over again. Eight years of need and desire came together and joined tightly in one. Panting, she wrapped her arms around her neck, needing her even closer, more inside. Lexa moved and placed herself on Clarke’s thigh wanting the same release Together they moved with savage and desperate intensity, meeting each onslaught, both giving and receiving at the same time.   
The combined force of her explosion was blinding, deafening. Pure white light that hid everything except that shocking moment of pure ecstasy.  
The final spasms ensued in their bodies, and both ended up shaking and panting. Together and still heavily embraced, they sank back into bed.  
When she was able to move again, Lexa stood on her side, pulling Clarke with her. Not wanting her too far away. She lay down beside Lexa, relaxed like a rag doll, and molding herself to her body like soft, freshly kneaded clay. They were still breathing hard, and the sound mingled with the heavy beating of their hearts.  
Lexa brought her even closer to her, laid his lips on her wet shoulder and tasted the slightly salty taste of her soft skin. When Clarke shuddered, she lifted her head.  
-Are you cold?  
Clarke shook her head, still with his eyes closed, but anyway, Lexa raised the sheet to cover them. Lexa imagined she would find an excuse to escape sooner or later, and she was determined to go after her.  
But, Clarke didn’t want to run she moves on top of Lexa and smiled to her.  
\- I missed that. – Lexa smiled too. – But now it’s my turn. – Clarke kissed her and then she began her exploration of Lexa’s body.

  
Much later.

  
As Lexa’s breathing began to slow down and her heartbeat returned to normal, Clarke tucked a strand of stranded hair behind her ear and stroked Lexa’s cheek with her finger. Lexa’s eyes, still clouded and filled with desire, looked at her.  
\- We were always pretty good at that. – Clarke murmured.  
\- We were good at other things too. - Lexa kissed the tip of her nose.  
\- Yes? - She moved away from her and studied Lexa’s face. – What do you mean?  
The truth was that Lexa had never thought about it. She had never put their relationship under the microscope to analyze it.  
-I don’t know. Just being together.  
\- That's not an answer. - Clarke straightened up on one elbow, rested her head on the hand, and studied Lexa’s face. - We fought a lot.  
\- I loved to fight with you. - Lexa said. - I loved making up too. I loved to hear you whispers on the phone in the middle of the night so no one would hear you. And the looks you were giving me when Bellamy and your sisters weren’t looking. The mischievous smile that told me you'd be waiting for me on the lake, later.  
Over the last eight years, there had been times when Lexa wondered if that summer with Clarke had been a dream. Everything had happened too quickly, with so much intensity, need, and passion that it seemed impossible. Love, marriage, annulment documents. How could that be real? It had been said hundreds of times that it couldn’t have happened.  
But when Lexa saw her lying down beside her, she knew that it had been real. She knew that every moment that had happened to her had been more real and had made her feel more alive than the rest of her life.  
\- We were good together, Clarke. - Lexa gently brushed a knuckle down her jaw. - Then and now.  
Clarke closed her eyes with a sigh and started to sit up, but Lexa held her, kissed her until she stopped resisting and turned Clarke into putty in her hands again. Lexa moved sideways, dragging her with it, and turned on the light on the nightstand.  
\- Don’t turn on the light. - Clarke protested, shaking her head.  
\- I want to see you. - Lexa murmured, sliding a hand down her hip.  
-Use your fantastic memory.  
Lexa grabbed her hand as she tried to turn off the light and then Lexa circled the curve of her butt with the tips of her fingers.  
\- Tell me about this.  
\- It's a tattoo. - There isn’t much to tell.  
\- When did you do it?  
\- Raven and I ... - Clarke drew air as Lexa kissed her neck and groaned as she began to stroke one of her breasts - When we turned twenty-one. In New Orleans.  
\- Does Raven have a tattoo too? - Lexa raised her head.  
\- If you tell anyone, I'll kill you. - Clarke groaned again as she felt Lexa mouth on her side. - We have a pact.  
Clarke didn’t say it too fiercely, but her skin did burn and she tasted her taste, caught her desire.  
\- A unicorn. - Lexa murmured, and nibbled on her body. - A mythical and flying animal fits very well with you.  
Clarke would have disputed her opinion, but Lexa prevented her and moved over her. Clarke wrapped her arm around Lexa’s waist and pulled her body to Clarke’s, kissing her deeply and intensely, until she surrendered and kissed her back, her body trembling with desire.  
Abruptly, Lexa finished the kiss and got up. Lexa watched as Clarke’s breast rose and fell and the fluttering of her lashes as she opened her eyes to look at Lexa.  
\- We have an elephant here, in the closet or standing between us. - Lexa said in a choked voice. - Sooner or later we'll have to talk about that elephant. - Clarke stared at her for a moment, nodded slowly, then arched over to her and caught Lexa’s mouth again. She thought it was a small victory to get her to agree, at least to speak later. But when they started to wallow through the bed again, Lexa no longer knew whether the victory had been his or hers.

 

  
Clarke awoke to the sunshine and the sound of the water running in the bathroom. A pang of panic swept over her body and she sprang to her feet. Clarke looked at the clock on the nightstand and closed her eyes with relief. It was only eight-thirty; she didn’t have much time, but enough to go back to her room, take a shower, and put her clothes in her suitcase and go down to reception, where a hotel car would be waiting to take her to the airport.  
And there was no better time to escape than while Lexa was in the shower.  
I knew Lexa would get angry. But this time she didn’t intend to escape. She had promised that they would talk about what she considered an "elephant" and they would. Lexa just needed a little more time to think, to get the idea that Lexa was back in her life. It wouldn’t be easy, especially with living in Texas and she was living in New York. But she was willing to try. To give the relationship a chance. Beside, Lexa had companies all over the world, so maybe living in New York wouldn’t be a problem for her.  
Running a hand through her hair, Clarke sat up, grimacing as she felt her muscles aching. Clarke raised her arms and stretched to relieve the pain and stiffness. She arched an eyebrow when she saw that Lexa gave her a hickey on a thigh.  
Clarke didn’t complain. She supposed she must have left a few hickeys on Lexa’s body, too.  
Smiling, she glanced at the bed and ran a hand over the scrambled sheets. The night before she had been convinced that the morning would be filled with regret. Sure that she would end up cursing herself, calling herself stupid and another pile of names that indicate an absolute lack of intelligence.  
It seemed strange to her that, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t muster an iota of remorse. In fact, realizing that made her uneasy. Clarke had always been pretty sure that she had made the right decision by leaving Lexa. And at that moment, sitting there, in the bed they made love, her body still sore after all night making love to her, and her mind in a whirlwind, she wasn’t so sure anymore.  
But the past is a past, Clarke thought with a sigh, as she looked at the door of the bathroom. At that time the past wasn’t the problem. The problem was the present. The here and now.  
Regardless of what had happened before, how long they'd spent apart, Clarke knew that she loves her. She had tried to deny it, of course. To Lexa, to herself. But it was the truth. Clarke loved her more than life itself. She always had and always would.  
What wasn’t clear was why she wasn’t capable of being married to her. That was the real question that she needed to know.   
He heard Lexa’s voice humming under the shower and that brought her back to reality. Clarke looked around for her clothes and frowned when she didn’t see any of her clothes.  
Clarke knew exactly where her dress had been the night before: on the floor next to the bed where Lexa had dropped it after taking it off. The bra wasn’t so sure, and the thong, well, she knew for sure that Clarke wouldn’t put it on again, Lexa had ripped it off her body, tearing it. Even the shoes were gone, though Clarke remembered that Lexa had thrown them on the floor, at the foot of the bed, next to her heals.  
Wrapping herself in the sheet, she crawled up and looked under the bed. Nothing. Then, she looked around again; her clothes weren’t there. Clarke ran to the closet and opened the door.  
Empty.  
She narrowed her eyes and looked at the door of the bathroom. It didn’t take a genius to understand that Lexa had taken the clothes of two of them to the bathroom. Carefully, she turned the knob.  
It was locked.  
"Damn you, Lexa! - Clarke said to herself.  
She retracted all the nice things she had thought of her that morning. All she wanted at the moment was to strangle her. Lexa had guessed that she would try to flee, and that was her dirty game, her treacherous and evil way of holding Clarke there while she enjoyed her shower.  
Clarke resisted the temptation to kick the door and gritted her teeth. Even with her sense of design and style, she couldn’t do much with a sheet, and the idea of walking down the hallway wrapped in a sheet or a brown striped curtain was too much for her pride.  
Cursing Lexa, she looked at the room once more. Then she cocked her head and smiled.  
If she wanted her clothes so much, perfect. Clarke dropped the sheet to the floor.  
Lexa could have it.


	8. Chapter 8

\- Where do you want me to put these, Miss Griffin?  
Clarke looked up from the column she had been trying to write for the January issue of magazine, a kind of resolution guide to "get rid of the old and opt for the new" when cleaning a closet. The article wasn’t going at all. In fact, she turned the chair so he didn’t have to look at the cursor flashing on an empty page.  
Clarke’s assistant, Mary, stood in the doorway with a long vase of red roses and pale pink orchids. When Mary came into the room, Clarke allowed herself to lean forward and breathe in the sweet, delicate scent of the flowers, but as she knew they were being sent by Lexa, she resisted touching them. She was still upset about the situation at the hotel three days before, and she was not ready to accept anything from her, not yet. Not a phone call, no flowers, not even the box of chocolates, or the cupcakes that she'd had to deliver to Clarke’s office.  
As if she was going to give up so easily only with flowers and candy, Clarke thought firmly. The truth was that the day before she had almost surrendered, when a box of the chocolate biscuits arrived. Lexa was playing dirty, but at least she had the decency to not sign any of the cards. Her assistant, her coworkers, already had enough fuel to feed the rumors that ran through the office.  
Clarke smelled the roses again, felt her armor cracking and shrugged.  
\- You keep them. - She told her assistant  
\- I'd love to. - From behind her glasses, Mary looked at the bouquet with adoring eyes. - But my desk is already full of flowers.   
Clarke looked through the glass that separated her office from the outside office. It was a sea of flowers. They had started arriving Monday morning and hadn’t stopped, and although there had been much speculation and drama about anonymous deliveries, Clarke hadn’t said a word. Of course, that had only created more drama. Most of them thought Finn and Clarke had argued and broken up, or otherwise, that they got engaged. But even those who had had the courage to ask her were left without an answer, and that was driving them crazy.  
The same as what was happening to her since Lexa had appeared again in her life.  
\- Then throw them away. - At the look of horror on Mary’s face, Clarke rolled her eyes. – Okay, put them in the ladies' room.  
Her assistant smiled, pleased with the idea, and began to turn around. Suddenly she turned quickly, set the flowers on Clarke’s desk, and pulled out a large padded envelope from under her arm.  
\- Oh, I almost forgot. This just arrived for you, too.  
Clarke saw the Texas letterhead, turned back to the computer screen, and squared his shoulders.  
\- You can take it.  
\- But you don’t even know what it is. – Mary said. – Aren’t you curious?  
Clarke glanced at the brown envelope. She admitted to herself that maybe she was curious, but not too much. With a sigh, she placed her fingers on the keyboard and pretended that the contents of the package didn’t interest her at all.  
\- You open it.  
\- Are you sure? - Mary brown eyes lit up.  
Actually, she wasn’t, but she shrugged and started typing, though she didn’t write anything meaningfully, watching her assistant open the envelope.  
\- It's a bra with no shoulder pads. - Mary lifted her black lace and looked at her. - Size…  
Clarke jumped out of her chair and took her bra and then the envelope. Damn you, Lexa, she thought.  
\- Incoming. - Margaret shouted from the outer office. It had become the battle cry of the staff, every time another bouquet of flowers arrived or a package addressed to Clarke.  
\- Enough! - Clarke shouted mentally, putting the bra back in the envelope. She watched an enormous bouquet of white roses go to her office and she decided to throw them on the floor and stomp each one of them until... Clarke was paralyzed when the bouquet came close… Tall, slender woman dressed in a suit wasn’t usually flower delivery person, unless they were called Lexa Woods…  
Clarke watched Lexa head straight for her and watched as the rest of the office looked at her too, Clarke’s jaw became limp. If Clarke’s knees and her brain hadn’t been blocked, she would’ve slammed the door and ran away.  
Although a little voice in her brain told her to grab something, a stapler would be fine, and throw it, but she refused to give Lexa that satisfaction and the rest of the staff a show. Instead, Clarke took a deep breath and waited for Lexa to enter his office.  
\- Miss Woods. - Clarke purred in a voice that was the vivid image of composure. - What a surprise.  
\- I was in the neighborhood. - Lexa set the roses on a cabinet, then looked at Mary and nodded her head.  
Mary just looked at Lexa with her mouth open.  
Clarke resisted the temptation to roll her eyes and throw Lexa out. But, she decided that the best way forward was indifference, so she chose to maintain an indifferent expression and tone.  
\- Mary would you leave us alone? - Clarke looked at her assistant. But, Mary didn’t move. Clarke shook her head, almost feeling sorry for her assistant. Lexa had always had that effect on women.   
\- Mary… - Clarke said. The assistant looked at Clarke and blinked.  
-What? - Clarke raised an eyebrow. -Oh. Oh! Mary cheeks turned as red as the jacket she wore. She looked at Clarke and shook her hand. – I’m so sorry Miss Griffin. Can I bring you something, I mean, do you want someone, I want to say something, or not...?  
\- Miss Woods is in a hurry. - Clarke interrupted with a forced smile.  
\- I have a few minutes. - Lexa said. - A coffee, black, would be fine…  
Clarke thought it was annoying. She looked at Lexa angrily, but she didn’t want to make a scene…  
\- A cup of coffee coming right away. -efficient with a capital E, Mary said. - Decaffeinated or normal? Or, maybe you want a croissant or a cupcake? We have blueberries, poppy seeds, banana and walnuts...  
\- Just coffee. - Clarke went to the office door and put her hand on the knob.  
\- Okay. - Mary looked at Lexa again, and she offered her a dazzling smile. Clarke could almost hear the pounding of the assistant’s heart. When her assistant rushed out of the office, Clarke quietly closed the door and faced Lexa.  
\- What do you think you're doing?  
\- If you're busy, don’t worry about me. - Clarke sat on the edge of her desk and Lexa glanced at the envelope Clarke still held in her hand. - I see you got my package.  
\- I got it. - Clarke said, throwing it in the bin to show her opinion about it… - I’m missing a few things.  
\- There is no problem. I know exactly where they are. In fact… - Lexa smiled. - …at this moment I have my favorite next to my heart.  
Clarke sighed, realizing that she had left only one small garment could fit in the pocket of her jacket.  
\- You didn’t...  
\- Would you like it back? - Lexa reached inside the jacket.  
\- I don’t! - Clarke held out a memo to stop it and realized how loud the words had been, and how thin the walls of her office were.  
Clarke glanced over her shoulder and all the heads that were looking at her turned back to work. She narrowed her eyes and looked at Lexa.  
\- This’s not funny.  
\- Of course it is. - Lexa pulled her hand from the inside of the jacket, empty, and folded her arms calmly. - It all depends on where one is sitting.  
\- What do I have to do to get you to leave?  
\- That's a dangerous question. - Lexa raised an eyebrow in irony.  
\- Lexa ... - Clarke gulped. - God help me, I'm going to…  
\- I'll leave if you do two things. - Lexa interrupted her. - One, please tell me how you came back to your room without clothes.  
Lexa surprised her by making such a simple request, and Clarke explained.  
\- There were black curtains behind the exterior curtains. I took them down, made some sort of dress, and then I gave a waitress a nice tip to return them to your room when you left. – What’s the second?  
\- You were always so clever. - Lexa laughed.  
\- What's the second? - Clarke insisted.  
\- Dinner with me.  
\- Dinner?  
\- Yes, dinner, you and me. – Lexa smirked. - I'm asking for a date, Clarke. You know, dining at a restaurant.  
\- A date. - Clarke wondered why that made her pulse race. They had slept together, they had even been married. Clarke didn’t understand why suddenly a date seemed so intimate.  
-I have a meeting.  
\- Cancel...  
\- I can’t do that.  
\- Then I will wait.  
Clarke saw the determination of Lexa’s eyes, and her pulse went from erratic to speeding like a racing car. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  
\- You can’t just come here, Lexa, and expect me to leave it all for you.  
\- I don’t expect you to leave anything… - Lexa said her voice calm and somber. - I've waited eight years, Clarke. I can wait for more.  
Clarke felt her resolve begin to falter. It was true that it had been eight long years, though she had never admitted it, not even to herself. Clarke’s instinct for preservation told her to put an end to everything at that moment, to escape, but she had done that once and that had only led her to this place. Clarke couldn’t think of a place or a worse moment to be holding that conversation. At any moment, Mary would come in again, and besides, the whole office was watching them…  
Suddenly, all that didn’t matter. Her gaze met Lexa’s, and the rest of the world disappeared. Eight years.  
If there was any chance that the two of them had a future together, no matter how small, Clarke had to know.  
\- Why? Clarke asked softly. - Why did you wait?  
\- Pride at first. - Lexa admitted. - And anger. My idea of marriage was a wife, home and children. I needed to know that you would do that for me.  
\- You demanded it. - Clarke replied, shaking her head.  
\- I suppose. - Lexa shrugged. - I had to learn to be patient, Clarke and eight years without you taught me that.  
\- And the documents of annulment? - Clarke hated herself as her hands trembled. - Why didn’t you sign them?  
\- I couldn’t sign something to say there had never been anything between us, that you never were my wife. - Lexa walked over to her. - You were and you are.  
Clarke stepped back, couldn’t think with Lexa so close, saying those things.  
-What has changed? Clarke muttered. - We are still the same people. We want different things.  
\- I love you, Clarke. - Lexa leaned forward and pressed her mouth to Clarke’s ear. - I want my wife back.  
\- Here we are. - Mary came in that moment, with a single cup of coffee and a basket of muffins. - I didn’t know what to bring, so... - The assistant stopped, caught Clarke’s expression, then looked at Lexa and swallowed. - I, um, I'll leave this on the desk. - When Mary ran out and closed the door behind her, Clarke let out the air she had been holding in, not knowing if she wanted to cry or laugh, or maybe both things. As if that could protect her heart, she folded her arms across her chest and stared at the ground, hating herself for being so weak.  
\- I'll see to it that the meeting ends early.  
Lexa was at the window of her room in the penthouse of the hotel, looked at the lights in Times Square, which was just below. Although she didn’t mind doing business there, or even sightseeing from time to time, she didn’t understand that kind of life, that frantic uninterrupted flow of people and traffic. Lexa was accustomed to living in houses of more than five hundred square meters, surrounded by miles of land.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

She glanced at the clock and decided she had just enough time to make a quick call to her assistant, before leaving to meet Clarke in the restaurant. Lexa had made a reservation at the exclusive Forbear, and had sent a limousine loaded with Champagne and a bouquet of red roses to pick up Clarke at the office.   
Lexa smiled as she remembered the look on Clarke’s face when she'd entered her office that afternoon. Beneath all her indignation and protests, Lexa had caught the satisfaction in Clarke’s eyes; she had seen her softening when she told her that she loved her. Clarke hadn’t even argued with her when Lexa had told her that she was her wife. It was a beginning, a good beginning.   
Lexa turned when she heard the knock on the door. When she opened the door and found those fiery blue eyes fixed on hers, Lexa felt the ground move beneath her feet. It took her a second to realize that it was really Clarke standing before her.  
Clarke had changed the white suit she'd worn that afternoon for a black dress. Lexa throat was suddenly dry at the sight of her, especially when she noticed the black stiletto shoes and the silver bracelet that adorned her ankle; that made her heart race. Clarke had also a bottle of Champagne open in one hand, and two glasses in the other.   
\- I didn’t feel like going out. - Clarke said her voice as thick as the look in her eyes. - I hope you don’t mind. - She passed Lexa, and her perfume made her think of night flowers and everything that was Clarke. Lexa watched her walk from the lobby to the bar and forgot to breathe as Clarke sat on a stool and crossed those deadly legs. When the dress rose several centimeters, thigh high, all the blood from the upper part of her body went down.  
Lexa closed the door.  
She never got what she wanted with that woman. Whenever Lexa thought she had the situation and his feelings under control, Clarke would shock her with something else.   
Clarke poured two glasses of champagne and offered Lexa one.  
\- Are we celebrating?  
Clarke frowned thoughtfully, and then shook her head.  
\- Let’s call it truce… - Clarke clinked Lexa’s glass with hers. Clarke was willing to accept what Lexa offered her, although she knew that Lexa wanted more, much more.  
\- I should be mad at you. - Clarke took a sip of Champagne. - The office was so revolted when you left that no one was able to concentrate. I had to cancel our meeting.  
\- I'd say I'm sorry. - Lexa said. – But I can’t.  
\- Sincerity is good. - Clarke agreed, nodding. - It is a solid foundation for a relationship.  
\- Is that what you and I have? - Lexa set the glass on the bar and moved closer to her. - A relationship?  
\- I don’t know what we have yet. - She looked at her glass for a moment. - All goes very fast with us, Lexa. Eight years ago. Now… I can’t catch my breath when I'm with you. I can’t think.  
Lexa took the cup from her hand, set it aside, and bent her head toward Clarke. - I need you in my life Clarke...  
\- It scares me to know you have that kind of power over me. - Clarke put a palm on Lexa’s chest to stop her.  
\- Is that why you left me? - Lexa asked quietly. - Because I scare you?  
Clarke nodded slowly. - You were older than me, with more experience. Rich. You excited me and terrified me at the same time.  
\- Clarke...  
\- Sincerity. - Clarke stared at Lexa. – Do you dare to look me in the eye and tell me that you didn’t want everything to be your way? Tell me you didn’t want to manipulate our marriage and then expect me to smile and nod as if I were one of those women who marry rich.  
Lexa instinctive reaction was to deny it, but she put her hand over Clarke’s and caressed her knuckles with her thumb.  
\- That was then. - Lexa said. - This is now. We are both older, we have successful careers, and money is no problem.  
\- No. - Clarke smiled. - That part is true.  
\- We aren’t the same people, Clarke. - Lexa took Clarke’s chin in her hand and watched the blue of her eyes soften. - We can start over; take each day as it comes. We’ll decide the details, as we move forward.  
\- I want to believe that… - Clarke whispered. - I want to believe you.  
\- Believe this. - Lexa moved her mouth to Clarke’s and kissed her gently, taking his time to savor the Champagne that still present on her lips. Clarke felt her resistance crumble, she knew Lexa had finally crossed the wall she had built around her to protect herself. It took all her willpower not to rush to her, not to accept that they belonged to each other. That Clarke was hers.  
Clarke slid her hands down Lexa shoulders and leaned her mouth over Lexa’s, deepening the kiss and exploring their taste. With a soft moan, Lexa opened up to her, thrusting her hands into Lexa’s jacket, increasing and removing the desire that already dominated her.  
\- I like you in a suit. - Clarke reached for Lexa’s shirt and pulled it toward her. Lexa smiled.  
Lexa then slid her hands to Clarke’s knees and then climbed back up, beneath her dress, caressing her firm, soft thighs. The image that she had of Clarke on her bed, naked, stretching her arms towards, exploded in Lexa’s brain. Lexa wanted her there. Right there. On the stool, on the floor. Wherever, whenever it was but she wanted it immediately. When Lexa leaned back and leaned against the bar, offering herself, Clarke almost lost control. She put his hand on the buckle of Lexa’s jeans, and then she realized that there was knocking at the door.  
Lexa swore between her teeth, furious over the interruption, but realizing that it was better that it had happened now than five minutes later.  
\- It must be room service. - Lexa gasped. – Don’t move.  
Clarke ran a hand through her hair, and Lexa went to the door and opened it. Her heart stopped suddenly when she saw who was there.  
Tall, blonde, the face and body of the covers of all magazines: Anya Grounder.  
It was the worst possible moment for her to be here.   
\- Hello, Lexa. - Dressed in a black pantsuit from Versace, Anya stepped past her and stepped inside. - I'm sorry I didn’t call before I came. I just had a few drinks with Molosh. He's harassing me to accept that role I told you about.  
\- Anya... - Lexa avoided looking at Clarke. – It’s not a good time.  
\- Don’t worry, love. I'm not going to stay. - Anya leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. - I've had to thank you for arranging the interview with Finn. If I had known how fantastic that guy is, I would have done it without you asking me to.  
Lexa felt the heat coming from the bar; Clarke was burning a hole in her back. She put a hand on Anya’s shoulder and led her back toward the door.  
\- We'll talk later, Anya.  
"I'm serious, Lexa. - Anya stepped away from her. - I really like that guy. I'm thinking I might have an affair with him.  
Lexa didn’t know if things could get even worse, but when Clarke appeared in the lobby, she suspected that not only could they, but they were about to.  
Anya raised an eyebrow at the other woman, and then looked at Lexa with a sorry written in her eyes.  
\- Forgive me. I didn’t know you had company. I think it will be better...  
\- Were you talking about Finn Collins? - Clarke asked her voice cold and calm.  
-Do you know him? - Worried, Anya looked at Lexa. - Because I joked when I said the adventure thing. I mean, I just met him. Lexa asked me to do the interview, so I did it as a favor. Between friends.  
\- Lexa and you are friends. - Clarke glared at Lexa. - She had never mentioned it.  
\- That's all we are. – Believing that Clarke’s icy tone is an attack of jealousy, Anya did her best to reassure the other woman. - Really. Just friends.  
\- And it was Lexa who arranged the interview with Finn? – Clarke’s words sounded cold. - That interview that had to be held last Thursday, the unexpected exclusive of two hours, which was concluded at the last moment?  
Phoebe glanced nervously at Lexa and then at Clarke again, not knowing what to say.  
\- I should better go.  
\- Clarke went to take her purse. - The one that is going to leave is me.  
Lexa recognized the look in Clarke’s eyes, the stiffness of her jaw. She knew there was absolutely nothing she could say at that moment, nothing Clarke would even hear. There was no human way of getting Clarke to stay in the room.  
Before leaving, she stopped before Lexa, narrowed her eyes and stared at Lexa's eyes.  
\- Sign the papers, Lexa.  
Then Clarke turned and leaved, and Lexa with white knuckles of tension and her stomach clenched with frustration, watched Clarke walk out the door; out of the room and of her life.


	9. Chapter 9

New York had been a fiasco.  
Seven days ago, Lexa had almost convinced Clarke that they should be together. She was so close to success. And in a blink, everything had disappeared like smoke in the wind. Clarke, their marriage. All that she wanted.  
Anya had felt terrible for having arrived at such an inopportune moment. She had offered also to talk to Clarke, but Lexa didn’t want that. She couldn’t see that helping in any way with Clarke. As it was, Clarke probably won’t speak to her again. Especially after their conversation about "sincerity."  
Lexa would’ve told her about Finn, and the interview, of course. Sometime, but not now when she still didn’t knew where she stood with Clarke. She hadn’t really been dishonest. There were no need for Clarke to know that it was Lexa who got the interview for Finn. Anya hadn’t minded doing a favor to an old friend. Besides, it wasn’t such a bad thing either. Finn had gotten a fantastic interview with Hollywood's most popular movie star. Hell, she had done a favor to the guy.  
Lexa lowered the drink she had in her hand and she sat on the couch and looked at her reflection in the TV that was in front of her. She grimaced.  
\- You look terrible.  
Lexa looked up and, with a grimace of annoyance, and saw Bellamy standing at the door.  
-I'm busy.  
\- Yes. You look very busy… - Bellamy smiled.  
\- What do you want Bellamy…? - Lexa asked, not in the mood for any company, especially not for the brother of the girl that left her three times now. - Do you have any other reason to come here, better than to bother me? - Lexa asked irritably.  
\- Yes. - He sat down beside me. - Bothering you is an extra.  
\- Damn it, Bellamy, I'm not in the mood.  
\- I suggest you to get in the mood then. - Bellamy said. - Costia and Tara are coming here, to bring us dinner.  
\- What? - Lexa lifted her head.  
\- Tara called and invited us to dinner to welcome you back home. - They will arrive at seven.  
Swearing, Lexa picked up her watch from the table. It was half past six.  
\- Why the hell didn’t you call me?  
\- I've done it. - Bellamy turned to look at Lexa. - You should answer the phone more often.  
After receiving six calls from her Dallas office, four from the Chicago, and two from her accountant, Lexa had disconnected the landline and turned off her cell phone.  
\- You entertain them then. - She said, shaking her head. - I'm busy.  
\- Doing what? – Bellamy asked. - Signing the marriage annulment documents?  
Lexa froze, and then slowly looked at Bellamy.  
-What?  
-You heard me.  
\- Did she tell you?  
\- Clarke telling me something? - He laughed. - Hell, no.  
-Then how…? When did you…  
\- I've always known. - Bellamy said, calmly. - I knew the summer that started everything, the wedding in Las Vegas, even the annulment. The only reason I let it happen without saying anything was because it was you. Anyone else would still gather chunks of their teeth.  
\- Why didn’t you say anything? - Lexa looked at Bellamy. - All these years, and not a single word?  
\- I could say the same about you. - He stared at Lexa with a dark, serious look. - And if I thought for a second that you intended to hurt her, friend or not, I would’ve knock you down.  
\- I suppose you could try. - Lexa agreed, and though she didn’t like it, she understood Bellamy’s motives. - But now it does not matter anymore. Clarke will not even talk to me.  
\- Because of the interview with Anya Grounder?  
Astonished, Lexa gaped at him.  
\- How the hell did you know that?  
\- I figured that out for myself. - Bellamy folded his arms and leaned against a wall. - I knew you dated Anya a few years ago, just before she became famous. I doubted it was a coincidence that Finn had to leave for an interview just before the wedding. I guess Clarke discovered it when you were in New York.  
\- Clarke is my wife, for Christ's sake. - Lexa said. - No way am I going to look the other way when she’s making heart eyes with another person.  
\- You looked the other way for eight years. - Bellamy said.  
\- No. - Lexa shook her head and let out a breath. - God, she'll kill me if she finds out, but I've always known what she was doing, I've always knew who she was dating. Finn is the first guy that I thought it could be dangerous.  
\- So you decided it was time to convince Clarke that she had to regain common sense and live with you, is that it? - Bellamy raised an eyebrow. - I would’ve loved to see the look on her face when you told her you were still married. Did she hit you?  
\- She pushed me and threw me into the lake. - Lexa admitted reluctantly.  
\- That's Clarke. - Bellamy said, nodding. - There was never any way to handle her. She always did the opposite of what I wanted only to prove that she could do it. The night out father passed, I told her to stay on the top floor. Clarke was only eight years old, but do you think she paid any attention to me? Hell, no, of course not… Our mother was hysterical. - Bellamy said. Octavia was too young to understand what was happening, she didn’t even remember it, but she was crying, so Raven had her in her arms, comforting her. Clarke just paced.  
It was not difficult for Lexa to imagine Clarke at the age of eight, her chin up and her back straight, convinced that only with her willpower would she make the world exactly what she wanted it to be. It was that fierce resolve and that absolute self-confidence that had drawn her to Clarke in the first place.  
\- I should have known she would not stay still. Clarke never listened to anyone. – Bellamy’s eyes turned into two black stones. So, you'd better sign those papers and get this over with, Lexa. That's what Clarke wants, so you should give it to her.  
\- What kind of talk is this? – Lexa’s eyes flashed with anger. – She is my wife.  
\- She doesn’t seem to think so. - Bellamy shrugged. - Once that girl makes a decision, there is no way to make her change her mind. Why don’t you go take a shower and have a nice evening with me and the girls?  
\- Why don’t you shut up? - Lexa said, now really angry. - Leave it alone, and shut up, Bellamy, and get out of my house.  
\- Hey. - Bellamy shouted as Lexa strolled to the door. - And what about the girls?  
\- It's not my problem. - Lexa shouted over her shoulder, and went to her bedroom. Bellamy followed her.

-Then you should go and do something about it...- Bellamy said and Lexa looked at him.

\- What?

\- You know what Lexa... Go and make my sister happy. If you don't...

Lexa interumpted him. - Bellamy...

\- Just go...

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Halfway home, it began to rain.  
Clarke didn’t care. The walk from her office to the new apartment was about seven blocks, and after twelve hours sitting at the computer, she liked to stretch her legs and clear her head. It was more a drizzle than real rain, just enough to wet the streets and cool the air. Autumn was present in New York these last few days, and no one seemed to mind the coolness of the air. Runners were still running around the park in a t-shirt, nannies were pushing baby strollers and vendors were selling their products.  
The world didn’t stop only because of her broken heart.  
Outwardly, Clarke supposed she looked the same as any other New Yorker returning home from work. She moved with the flow of people on the sidewalks, looking in front of them and with the expressionless face. From the outside she seemed to know exactly where she was going and what she would do once he was there. But, inside it felt like a broken glass. Every breath, every beat of her heart cut her with a sharper, deeper pain.  
It hadn’t been easy to keep up appearances during the last week. Clarke had seen the curious looks, heard the whispers. In the office there were hounds, wolves, who smelled the weakness and who always jumped to take advantage at the first opportunity. She had worked hard to get where she was, to earn the respect of her colleagues. To be seen by the office whimpering, tearful and depressed because of her love life, was more than a weakness, it was pathetic.  
She preferred the privacy of her own apartment, with the lights off and tucked under the sheets, to weep until she was tired.  
All those years she convinced herself that they didn’t fit together, that they were completely wrong for each other, that the cannon between them was too broad and deep. At first she had been angry, outraged, and those feelings had helped her maintain her sanity. They had saved her from running back into Lexa’s arms and giving up everything she had ever dreamed of.  
Clarke stopped on the other side of the street where her apartment was and looked at the elaborate forest green awning, the uniformed doorman, and the elegant glass doors. At last she had settled in last four days. One hundred and fifty square feet with views of Central Park. Marble bathroom, granite countertops in the kitchen, three and a half foot ceilings and two fireplaces. She hadn’t opened a box yet, hadn’t hung her clothes or put sheets on the bed.  
Her huge, empty bed.  
People would kill to have everything she had. Her job, the house, the money. Clarke should be dancing of joy, running through the park, jumping into the fountains. She didn’t understand why she was standing there on the sidewalk, in the rain, feeling so totally and utterly alone.  
So total and absolutely sad.  
But, she knew. Something inside her whispered with every beat… It was because she loved her. Clarke loved Lexa, damn it. More than life itself. More than every painful inspiration and every beat of her heart, she loved her.  
Clarke watched the raindrops glide through her black cashmere coat, heard the cars passing by, and the noise of music from a radio hidden from view. I just needed to cross the street. Put one foot in front of the other and walk. Keep moving. But suddenly it seemed very difficult.  
People passed by her, encircling her. A man dragging three dogs on a leash. Two teenagers talking, not one with the other, but each with their mobile phone. A businessman trying to stop a taxi. Daily routines. Everybody went ahead with their ordinary, mundane life and activities.  
And she, on the other hand, was unable to force herself to walk the ten yards that separated her from the entrance to her apartment.  
The rain began to fall harder, but he didn’t care. She closed her eyes and went to sit on a bench, outside the park. An inner voice told her to go home, but she told it to shut up.  
She didn’t want to reason anymore. She didn’t want to be carried away by logic.  
She wanted Lexa.  
She didn’t want to love her. But she did...  
Lexa had refused to sign the annulment papers, had created chaos in her office, and used Anya to get Finn out of the way. And yet she wanted her. She loved her.  
Sincerity, she told herself with a sigh. At last she was being honest with herself.  
From the park she heard children laughing, the screams of a mother warning them not to pet the puddles, and then she splashed her feet in the water. She turned to the sound and opened her eyes. Clarke almost smiled as she saw the four children jumping in a puddle of water.  
\- Do you mind if I share your bench?  
When Clarke turned around, her heart skip a beat.  
Lexa.  
Clarke blinked, fearing that she had really gone mad, and that her imagination was paying her a joke. Clarke was about to extend her arm to touch Lexa and make sure it wasn’t a dream.  
When Lexa sat down next to Clarke and looked at her, she didn’t need to touch her to know it was real. It was Lexa, there was no doubt. She looked as if something was troubling her, and she saw tension that creased the corners of her deep green eyes. But, despite that Lexa was beautiful.  
Clarke was still trying to recover her voice when Lexa spoke again.  
\- I signed the papers today and presented them, Clarke. - Lexa said quietly. - Tomorrow morning you will single again.  
Clarke’s heart, the bits left of him, seemed to fall to the ground. She stared at Lexa. She had. She had really done it. Wasn’t that what she'd wanted? What had she asked Lexa to do? That was what she had insisted so much? "Be careful what you want because you could ..." The words flashed in his mind… Clarke already had everything she wanted and she knew that wasn’t what she wanted, not really.  
For the first time in her life, she understood what her mother had felt. Why she had gone mad. Love could do that to a person. Clarke thought love was doing it to her at the moment.  
But she wouldn’t collapse there. Not in front of Lexa or the rest of the world. She still had her pride, even if it was only a small part, and she thought that she needed hold on to it with all her strength. She just had to stand up, say goodbye and cross the ten-meter street that separated her from her large, beautiful apartment. And she will. As soon as a minute passed and she was certain her knees would support her weight.  
Clarke swallowed and lifted her chin.  
\- You didn’t have to come to New York to tell me that.  
\- Some things need to be said in person. - Lexa replied, shrugging her shoulders.  
\- That's nice of you. - Clarke got to her feet, forced the corners of her mouth to curl upward, and strove to express certain impudence. - Maybe we can be friends, Lexa, now that we're not married anymore.  
Lexa shook her head.  
\- I don’t think so.  
Clarke hadn’t thought possible to feel more pain than she was feeling. But, once again, she had been wrong. Clarke prayed that the moisture on her face was due to the rain.  
\- All right. - Clarke nodded stiffly and turned. - We'll see each other, then.  
\- One more thing, Clarke. – Lexa said.  
She wasn’t sure she could stand another thing without collapsing, but she hesitated and glanced over her shoulder. Lexa rose from the bench and crossed the little distance between them.  
\- Will you marry me?  
\- What?  
\- As I said before, some things have to be said in person. - Lexa took her hand and put her fingers to Clarke’s lips. - We can go out together sometimes, if you want. We never had a chance to have real date before. Please, Clarke, give me that chance.  
-Lexa…  
\- Let me seduce you. – She knuckled. - Let me love you.  
Clarke shuddered at her touch, but the fear was stronger and she pushed her hand away.  
\- If this is your idea of a joke, I assure you...  
\- I love you, Clarke. This is no joke. - Her voice tinged with urgency. - I loved you eight years ago, but my pride kept me from following you. I was convinced that you would come back to me, and when you didn’t, I was angry.  
If Lexa only knew how many times she had been about to go back to her, how many times had she made her bag. How many times, even, she had reached the airport, before her pride forced her to turn around. But she couldn’t tell her that. Not yet.  
\- Not signing those annulment papers was my way of clinging to you, to have the last word. Lexa reached into her pockets. - To have control. You're right about that. I did want control. I was sure if I let you out and you do all the things you wanted to do, you would realize that you didn’t need me.  
That had been the problem, she was convinced. She had needed her so much, loved Lexa so much that it frightened her.  
\- What has changed now? - Clarke looked at her face and felt her bones melting with desire and love, longing to lean on her. - What would be different for us now? I have a home here, you're in Dallas. And about having children...  
\- When you're ready. - She looked at a woman pushing a stroller down the street, rushing to avoid the rain. - I will not lie to you. I want children, yours, mine and ours. But I need you, Clarke. More than the air that I breathe. Everything I have doesn’t mean anything without you.  
\- Are you saying you would live here in New York? - Clarke shook her head in disbelief.  
\- That's exactly what I'm saying. - Lexa took her hand again. - My heart is with you, wherever you are. Wherever you say… Just be with me.  
\- And Dallas and the ranch? - Clarke asked in a choked voice. She felt her chest filling as the little bits of her heart came together again.  
\- Bellamy and I are going to form a merger between our ranches, and hire a company to run it, and I, we, can spend as much time there as we want.  
\- You and Bellamy? - My God. Two of the strongest, most powerful and obstinate people she had ever met in her life were to become partners. The thought made her head turn.  
But Clarke couldn’t think of that at the moment. She didn’t even care. The only important thing was Lexa. Standing there, in the rain, telling her that she loves her.  
But I loved her first. I wanted to live the equivalent of eight years of love and life in the shortest possible time. Clarke decided that she wouldn’t regret the years that had been apart. She would just admire the future. With Lexa. Together.  
Clarke watched as Lexa took her hand out of her pocket and opened her fingers. She was sure her heart had stopped for a moment when she saw what she was showing.  
Her ring. The one she had thrown at her eight years ago. Lexa had saved it. During all those years, she saved it.  
\- I love you. - Lexa whispered. - Marry me.  
Clarke looked at the ring, the simple gold alliance. Love, hope and need consumed her. They overwhelmed her.  
\- Clarke, for Christ's sake. - Lexa pleaded, her voice torn. - Please say something.  
Clarke looked up at her and felt tears stream down her cheeks, mingling with the rain.  
\- It's about time. - Clarke murmured, and then she put her lips on Lexa’s. It was their time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The end. I know that some of you didnd like Lexa or how I wrote her here but I had diferent plans with this story, much longer story. But, because of some problems we couldnt see Lexa grow and I had to rush everything... Thank you for your support anyway. I will be back soon with more Clexa stories.

**Author's Note:**

> These charachters arent mine, but they are pretty inspiring.  
> Also, English is not my native language.


End file.
